Oops, I Got an English Degree!

This morning, I woke up to a horrible realization. Actually, that happens pretty much every morning, the realization being that I’m awake and no longer in the blissful world of dreams.

But on this fateful day, I came to recognize a much more devastating truth: I had spent four years of my life studying English.

You’d think kids who get into Stanford would be smart enough not to pursue their dreams, but I’ve always been quixotic (and as an English major, I can tell you that word’s based on a character…from a book!), so I studied what I loved, future be damned! My parents, idealistic saps that they are, actually encouraged me towards this! They said, “Russ, you can do anything if you put your mind to it!” Can you believe that?

So I kept at it. I enjoyed my major, and I’ve never been one to deny myself any desire, no matter how whimsical or potentially hazardous.

And it was just so easy. Wait until the final paper is assigned, read (or skim) a single book, then write an eight page treatise on the main character’s Oedipus complex. How could I turn that down?

Unfortunately, it just so happens that people in “real life” expect you to have these pesky things called “skills,” and for some reason, nobody mentioned them to me until it was too late. All my computer science friends had these amazing resumés, and I didn’t have an iota of work experience. I assured prospective employers of my vast intellect and chronicled all the fantasy books I’d read, but still I didn’t receive a single call from any of the companies to which I’d applied. Didn’t they see how well I’d praised myself? Didn’t they understand how my comprehensive knowledge of potential post-apocalyptic scenarios could come in handy?

Suddenly it’s graduation and all my friends have moved to San Francisco and New York to do important work, so obviously I have to pretend that I have my life together too. I decided to take a year off to “find myself” and “work on my writing.” They seemed like good excuses at the time, but then it turned out that finding myself was hard to do when there was so much good TV on, and working on my writing was nigh impossible when you end up joining a fraternity that’s always throwing booze and women at you (not that I succeeded with the women). When I was working toward my degree, I didn’t mind the distractions, but now I was starting to realize that without an outside force giving me a series of easily attainable goals, I had developed some sort of weird conscience/guilt complex that made me feel horrible about myself.

It was terrible! Before this year, I’d always loved myself (heck, somebody had to!), but now my life was a travesty of my ill-formed childhood plans. I was supposed to be a multi-billion-dollar writer person who lived on the moon.

Sure, living in San Luis Obispo is nice, but it’s no the moon. Now, I could blame the lack of lunar accommodations on the government, but there was no excuse for the unearned billions. Clearly, I had to start doing something that would get me paid, or laid, or anything really. And with that, we’ve returned to the head of this ouroboros* of a conundrum: I have a degree in English. Where could I find people crazy enough to pay me for that?

*It’s a thing.

And then it hit me: the internet!

There are plenty of people who make money on the internet, right–plenty of people who are (presumably) a lot less “qualified” than I am? If they can earn a living by remorselessly spewing out their life stories and pointless observations, why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I enter this modern-day gladiatorial ring and battle my fellow English majors for the love of the wealthy masses. After all, it’s up to us to stave off the ennui of conquering the known world, and if we’re good enough, somebody might pay us.

On the web, everyone can put themselves up for examination, and if they’re pretty or funny or ugly enough, never have to do any real work. And in the end, isn’t avoiding real work what being an English major is all about? That’s why I’ve started blogging. Even if I can’t achieve anything real, I might at least become internet famous. So here goes. This is my blog and my chance to show my parents that their money wasn’t wasted, or that it wasn’t quite as wasted as they previously thought, and that I’m not quite as wasted as I was five minutes ago. Funny how that works.

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650 Comments

Filed under Observations

650 responses to “Oops, I Got an English Degree!

  1. Love it!! Subscribed to the RSS and waiting to hear more interesting stories!

  2. Seems to be working so far — what with being Freshly Pressed and all! Congratulations…

    Personally, I started my blog to process through a crazy-making, blindsiding divorce. Then TIME Magazine linked to my blog, making me Internet famous for a few days. It has been (and continues to be) a fun, wild ride. Best of luck as you enjoy your journey!

    🙂

  3. One of my favorite Freshly Pressed posts so far. Nice work, and best wishes on your new career.

  4. 🙂 I actually got my degree in English and then decided to stay in school and pursue my other interest, Religion & Philosophy. Now I have a dual degree that doesn’t amount to much unless I want to teach and write! Yeah, I’m still working on my writing … for about fifteen years now …

  5. Word. The things nobody tells you…

    -A fellow holder of an English Degree (a piece of paper so useless that I am trying to get Sallie Mae to repo my degree and wipe my school debt. HA!)

  6. Ha! I too was foolish enough to get an English degree… and I didn’t stop there… Best of luck with this new blog.

  7. And now you’ve been Freshly Pressed. That’ll impress the parents if not potential employers! Congrats! (I, too, have an English degree–two of them actually. I feel your pain!)
    Kathy

  8. First, your comics and post are raucously entertaining. Second…I took the exact opposite steps that you listed, and somehow I managed the same tragic outcome. So I’d like to blame it on the economy, or the whole, not getting us to the moon bit…Childhood dream: Journalism/Graphic design major – feasible? I should think not! What I did: Business school, practical, methodical – feasible? they promise you’ll make dollar bills…blame the moon and the economy.

    • Very, very cool. Love the comics and the writing. 🙂

    • I second this (The Polka-dot Maven) – I purposely DIDN’T follow my dreams and pursue a degree/career in something I loved, because I *knew* that doing so wouldn’t get my anywhere financially. What I didn’t know was that doing the ‘sensible thing” and getting a degree in business (Marketing/Advertising) would also get me nowhere financially. I’ve been out of college for almost 5 years now and not a single job I’ve held has been related to my degree and I’ve been laid off TWICE, both for periods of about 4 months – which just set me even farther back financially than I already was. Blah! I’m trying to keep hope alive, but it’s hard. So don’t feel bad – you may end up having better luck with your degree than some of the rest of us!

  9. Luhi Purcell

    I can’t stop laughing.

  10. e2design

    absolutely fantastic! Keep up the artwork!

  11. I, too, am an English major. It enabled me to get a job with a good company. I drive forklift, and I’m loving it (seriously, I am, although I don’t think they care that I’m an English major).

  12. Awesome Post!! A great first step in your plan to become a ‘weblebrity’!
    Looking forward to more life stories and pointless observations!! 🙂

  13. HAW HAW! This post is awesome! I particularly liked the line, “You’d think kids who get into Stanford would be smart enough not to pursue their dreams…”

    Also, the comics are spot on. Thank you for sharing!

  14. aaaawww .. you’re such a great writer! I’m sure someone will recognize that one of these days! Keep at it! lol

  15. V

    If I had any money, I would pay you to keep writing this blog. Unfortunately, my major is Japanese. At least in the US, you can actually use your degree as a basis for interpersonal communication. Me: all I can do is read smutty manga in the original language.

  16. I have an English degree too! I use it to be an admin within the English department… and to blog. 🙂

  17. Good luck with that whole “being internet famous” thing! Based on being “freshly pressed” and the number of “likes”, I’d say your off to a decent, even if somewhat shy of overwhelming, start.

  18. Lol! I found myself smiling along. I’ll be following this blog.

  19. Okay, now this is the part where you become famous and write about it on your blog, because I have 1.5 semesters to go until I graduate with an English degree and take a year off “to find myself” too. GIVE ME AN INKLING OF HOPE THAT I’M GOING TO LIVE OFF OF SOMETHING MORE THAN RAMEN!

    • I’ll try to provide as much hope as I can, but I can’t advocate giving up ramen. That’s my life blood! In fact, maybe I’ll start up a ramen blog…

      • Your next post should be an inspired mini cook-book offering myriad ways to prepare and present ramen noodles, along with appropriate beverage pairings. I feel your angst, having majored in Religious Studies which is similarly impractical in the Real World unless you want to join the clergy. After a long, circuitous route I am now in public safety and emergency management where I routinely enjoy baffling people with a renaissance vocabulary.

  20. After reading this work of mockery, self-deprecation, and laziness, I just have to say – Please keep posting.
    That is all. ^_^

  21. A blog made to make me feel better about myself “Follow” thank you. And could I borrow your zombie hunter idea?

  22. Haha, it’s all so true. I love that last line though, great stuff. I was wondering though, do you do your own artwork? I might could use your non-english major talent. Let me know if you’re interested.

    • Hi sewerrat! I’m Sam, I do the drawings, and am an English major to boot. Glad you like the art! I’m pretty busy trying not to go broke, but its safe to say I’m interested in most things!

  23. Hilarious! My English degree made me feel skill-less and useless for many years after I stopped actually teaching English, which seemed to be the only job for which I was actually qualified…and even then, I had to attend pesky ‘teacher school’ first.

    The very best of luck to you on your new blog! You’ve already made Freshly Pressed and this is your very first post? I’d say you’re off to a fantastic start. 🙂

    Kate
    http://ukate.wordpress.com/

  24. allenavw

    Love the illustrations! Your moon babes look great. Also, this makes me re-think considering taking an English degree… which unfortunately was the only thing I was interested in, oh shit.

  25. I too am an English major. I knew what I was doing, it was my fault. No one encouraged me to do it, I just did it. Congratulations on your new blog.

  26. I feel your pain; I maintain that my English degree has interfered with my childhood dream of becoming an independently wealthy travel writer/Hong Kong action movie star. I salute your pursuit of internet fame! Good luck and godspeed.

  27. And voilà, you’ve been Freshly Pressed!

    PS the illustrations are priceless.

  28. I got a fancy finance degree, but then realized I hate finance. Oops. Very funny post though, look forward to reading more!

  29. Love this! Love the humor!
    Love the artwork! You should seriously consider writing your own comic strip.

    Thanks for the smiles and laughter, & congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    Renee

  30. So much for “Doing what you love and the money will follow” bit of advice, eh?

    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed on your first post. You must be doing something right.

    Maybe you’ll soon get a book contract and a reality TV show. 🙂

    Hey, maybe you can write for the FX animated series “Archer”, you seem to possess the same type of irreverent, intelligent humor. I like that.

    As for the women, I would not be surprised your intelligent wit will lead you to find a few women who like to be Muses to creative genius.

    To pass the time while you figure out how to make money, why don’t you belt out a novel for National Novel Writing Month? It’s a lot of fun.

    http://www.nanowrimo.org/

    Good luck to you.

    Casey

    http://thesprightlywriter.wordpress.com/

    • Wow, you make me feel good about myself! Maybe the women will work out, but wit hasn’t seemed to be the most alluring quality.

      As for Muses, I don’t know if I should be taking applications either. I think lack of success (women and otherwise) is my true Muse! 😉

  31. Great, honest and really likeable! You seem like a fun person and I like the drawings too!

  32. ALC

    I get the feeling that, if you keep this up, it might end up being my new favorite blog. Best of luck to you!

  33. Good stuff man. I almost wish I was an English major so I could use similar excuses like “working on my writing” and not have people tell me to shut up and get back to work. Anyway, loved the post and I think I might go ahead and join up…you know, as long as there’s no subscription fee or anything. I mean I’m not made of money here! Oh, and check mine out as well…you might enjoy it. Of course, by “enjoy it” I mean tolerate it.

  34. Very well written. Made me chuckle too.

  35. Jodie

    Lol, Love the art work, did you draw it?

  36. I haven’t decided yet if you are an inspiration or a cautionary tale. In either case, you are entertaining. Well done English Major! (btw, I love your resume…. I totally want to hook up with you when the zombie apocalypse starts).

    • Maybe I can be inspirational for once you’ve already thrown caution to the wind? And as long as we’re ignoring caution, maybe I should work on inciting the zombie apocalypse so we can be friends!

  37. Heh.

    In a similar situation myself — not only do I have a BA in English Literature, but I also have an MA in Creative Writing. I’m sure that comes as no surprise.

    Your career plan sounds a lot like “be Jubal E. Harshaw” to me. My own plan was to become the greatest author who ever lived, and evidently that hasn’t panned out for me, either. Yet.

    Good luck.

  38. welcome to the unsatisfying world of the under/unemployed blogging! If you have nothing else to show your parents, you do great computer doodles

  39. Best of luck to you. I feel the same way as an English major sometimes.

  40. nancyakiraj

    U are just 5mins closer to death

  41. LOL – – HAHA . . Welcome to “The Farm”

  42. Well written. At least their money went to the right places..

    Congrats on being “freshly pressed” as well…

    Best
    Georgie

  43. FGJFRIOEADSKLZCX

    cool

  44. It’s working already.

    The dinosaurs, zombies, space references, and amusing drawings are probably helping.

    Loved it, looking forward to more 🙂

  45. I love this post it hits home big time

  46. I would love to read more of your work. I love your style of writing. Keep with it.

  47. Sarah D.

    I love this! And I hope you’ll get to rake in the big bucks! (Sez I, with an undergrad degree in history and a masters in gender studies — a doctorate in the latter would have been more useful, actually.)

  48. As a part-time janitor on the weekends I approve this message. Excellent blog!

  49. Awesome start to your new blogging career! Good luck on becoming a billionaire living on the moon!

  50. kitkatlikereflexes

    One post and you’re already Freshly Pressed. Your idea obviously has merit! 😉

  51. That hand coming out of the monitor is going to give me nightmares.

  52. I got my English degree 21 years ago. Still waiting to start my career….

  53. Maybe I’m lucky in that I wound up in a field that’s reasonably connected to my English degree. I still have the diploma framed over my commode, though, just to remind me. Thanks for a good laugh and congrats on being FP.

  54. Good luck to you, it’s a great start…

  55. I can relate to your journey to “self discovery.” As a 25-year old aspiring publisher, I too have dealt with feeling lost. The one thing I take away from this is using your degree to make money. SIMPLE, but HARD. Who doesn’t want to make money and be happy? God knows I do. I REALLY enjoyed your entry and look forward to hearing more from you.

    In the meantime check out my WordPress blog “An Unconventional Publisher Confesses”, here’s the url: http://www.lateshagoodman.wordpress.com.
    Let’s help each other become “Internet famous”.

    Latesha Goodman

  56. Not quite sure how I came across this, but really enjoyed reading it!

  57. Try copy writing. It pays. It’s not glamorous, but neither is eating Top Ramen at 30 in a 1 bedroom apartment.

  58. Tom Garrett

    I can sympathize. This reads much like my own sad (or self-inflicted) tale, except “political science” subbed in for “English.” Add another three years of school and a grad degree into the mix, and that’s me. True, I could be a lot worse off, and I’m grateful for and aware of what I have. However, it’s quite disheartening after doing well in school to pass one’s 30th birthday and realize that your only options for the next four decades are to do something you love for next to no money, or do something you hate for *just* enough money to scrape by – unless you do something radical to change your circumstances. That’s one of the things that spawned my own blog earlier this year, and it seems as though a similar revelation fuels yours now. Best of luck.

  59. “I’m not quite as wasted as I was five minutes ago…” you wrote.

    Yes, writing does that for you. I could feel your worries melting away as I read.

  60. This is a great post! 🙂 I am fan!

  61. c.

    I’ve been through that English Degree Guilt Complex.

    Here’s the deal: what we’ve done is chosen a path based on passion rather than pay. Sure, the certainty of, “I majored in THIS, so I’ll get a job as THAT, and I’ll retire at 60 and move to Florida, just like my parents,” is nice and cushy, but it’s not all that adventurous. For us, we either wait for an employer to take a risk and hire us for something we’ll hate, or we blaze our own path. Or go back and get a PhD, I guess, if that’s your poison.

    It’s not an easy path. All the people with Important Jobs look at you like you’re an idiot. And that’s okay. At 45, many of them will look back and realize they’ve never been happy, and now they’ve got to change everything drastically before the hypertension kills them, and it’s harder to shift gears at 45 than it is at 25.

    Here’s what you’re doing right: starting young. I spent about eight years beating myself up for getting a “stupid” degree. That was time wasted…I could have been writing professionally by now, but I preferred complaining. I’m better now. Don’t fall into that trap. You’re self-employed, and writing is your job. Be a professional about that. Go read “The War of Art” by Stephen Pressfield while you’re at it.

    • Had to tell you that I love your comment. I’m a philosophy/art dual major and I’ve spent the last 4 years feeling guilty for it. I’m finally letting myself enjoy life and I’m even trying to go BACK to school for graduate studies in Art History. I’ve wanted to be an art historian and critic for years and I’m finally letting myself do it (even though the in-laws still don’t understand!). But they’re my dreams and I’m the one that has to put in the work to get there.

      I think I’ll check out the “The War of Art” while I’m at it…. 🙂

    • Great advice. I will definitely check out that book.

  62. As a fellow English major trying to make a name for myself via writing on the Internet, I love this post! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  63. This looks like your first post, and you were picked for Freshly Pressed. I’d say you are starting out pretty well! Good luck on the blog!! Great post!

  64. You gave me a good laugh. I, too, am an English major. I still don’t know how to make any money from it, but I sure enjoyed the ride.

  65. I must ask: if “practical skills” are so important, why aren’t they built into our education from day one? Maybe they were in the past and will be again someday, but sadly I think our generation skipped that beat. We were expected to sit through classes we couldn’t stand to get jobs we couldn’t stand in order to live independently in places we hopefully could stand. I didn’t sell out either though. As a Spanish major/ English minor, I enjoyed all my classes and learned as much as possible from them. I’m enjoying my current job too but not the independence and prosperity of a traditional college grad. Whether it was worth it or not could just as easily be decided by coin flip as by any scientific method.

  66. Wow! Awesome post! Don’t get too wasted wasting your time wasting away! Also, you’re not the only one in this world who hasn’t figured matters out, so no worries. And this is coming from a psych major… 🙂

  67. Elizabeth

    Omg i loved this! Is this your first blog? I have followed you and saved and liked this. You are funny

  68. Yeah, I graduated with an English degree too….with a concentration in… wait for it…creative writing. So I moved to California to find both myself and a job, and I decided to blog about it. We’ll see how it goes. http://www.saracardoza.wordpress.com

  69. Sammi

    Got to be the funniest blog post I’ve read in a while but I especially love the graphics… did you do those? Hey I’m studying Pharmaceutical Management but now I’ve realised I’m going to have to move countries to start my career
    😦 So you’re doing better than me I would say. Keep at it. and its your first blog post… congrats on making it to the front of freshly pressed. G’day.

  70. Ben

    Nicely written first post. Your illustrations really made me laugh. Good luck achieving your English major aspirations.

  71. I like your sense of humor. You have a lot in common with R S Jacobs. http://rsjacobsuniverse.wordpress.com/
    Did you do all the drawings yourself?

  72. This sums up a lot of things about me that I’m afraid to say to say to myself.

  73. Well looks like you can write, draw, and you’re funny. Looks good enough to succeed to me.

    Also bonus points for adding Dinos and Zombies to the tags.

  74. undefineme

    Russ, you rock! You succeeded in making me smile, and laugh (turning every head in the room in my direction). I sincerely hope that you find internet fame. And that you make millions. And that you get laid.

  75. Amazing post, Russ! As a fellow English major, I can relate. I was in the same boat (only not as funny) until someone started paying me to write. Considering you’ve been Freshly Pressed already, Internet fame is at your doorstep 🙂

    Great illustrations too, Sam!

  76. Jennifer

    excellent; the fact that you were in the ‘freshly pressed’ section of WordPress is a good return on your degree… i too got an English degree and am now suffering for it, but you know what? It doesn’t matter what the outside world says -don’t pretend you regret it, cuz you know you don’t! 🙂

  77. Jan

    From one English grad to another, funny post! Reminds me of a book I saw about careers for liberal arts majors. The cover showed Wm. Shakespeare sitting on a park bench reading want ads. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

  78. idreamofeden

    Good for you using your skills! Your parents would be proud of you and being freshly pressed 🙂 Congrats! Your pictures are hilarious, I especially love the one of the computer slapping him in the face! My husband is currently focusing on a English degree…and wonders if he should change his career choice…at the end of the day I guess you just have to fall back on what you are passionate about…

  79. I absolutely love this post! As a sophomore-year English major, I can feel where you are coming from. I’m looking forward to what types of jobs I can get when I graduate and, I have to admit, it looks a bit grim. But I still enjoy being an English major! 🙂 By the way, congratulations on being “Freshly Pressed.”

  80. Niiice – pressed at first entry!

    You did make me feel better about not pursuing my dreams. Okay, not really. But still – nicely done.

  81. Love this post! Very honest
    I also have an English degree (English and Journalism in fact). Funny enough my boyfriend has a computer science degree and I feel he is so much more skilled than I. I started blogging because of the exact reason you have. The reason I did a combined degree was because I honestly didn’t see where I could go from an English degree. The truth is there’s too much choice. The reason I picked this degree was because I couldn’t pick something specific (I change my mind way to often) so as long as I’m better than everyone else at the writing stuff, which are the basic skills for anything, I can pick my more specific road later on. My boyfriend is good at computers…but he still needs me to do his proof reading 🙂

  82. Phillip Foshée

    Great post! Love the illustrations! It’s like we’re soul-mates… Only I didn’t finish my English degree.

    I’m in your corner.

  83. Well it seems like you’ve got a good jump-start on your way to internet fame. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  84. I love this post! I’m in my final year of my english lit degree and as entry into the real world becomes scarily closer, I worry about job prospects too! I have also been on holiday in San Luis Obispo, it’s a lovely place. We stayed at Apple Farm, b-e-a-u-tiful 🙂 All the best.

  85. Your fellow English majors are happy to have you join our ranks!

  86. Great post. I’m currently “finding myself,” too. Looks like I’ll have to look at graduate school!

  87. Your parents’ money sure hasn’t gone waste.. It was lovely reading your post.. and it IS really amazing to see parents who agree to non conventional career paths…

  88. So, this is your first post and it was Freshly Pressed…seems to me like you very well may be successful in life. Even with your English degree… (I’m allowed to say that because I have one too). 🙂

    Did you draw all of these pictures as well? If so, wow…you are a great writer, but you’re also quite the hilarious artist as well! 🙂

    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  89. Your post reminds me of the Avenue Q song “What do you do with a BA in English?”
    (;

  90. Autumn

    You are so funny!

  91. LOVE this! I was an English major also. My husband’s mother told him I’d be a useless money leach since that was my chosen major. Yes, she’s a peach. She’s also completely ridiculous and backwards. From my experience, English majors tend to be the most creatively diverse of groups of people. The sky is the limit, because being an English major gives you skills even in addition to great writing skills (which in themselves are priceless), but also wonderful deductive and inductive reasoning skills, as well as a wonderfully comprehensive view of life. You will go far if you let yourself have dreams and force yourself to chase them, it just may take a little more time than it might have if you had chosen a major with a more direct path from A to B.

  92. ….so you were in school for all those years and you never thought of what you might want to do with your degree when you were finished?
    i’m kind of opposite — i have tons of skills and work experience, but still pursuing a degree . i think you could alter your resume to not talk so much about your “intellect” and word things so some of your college work can be translated into actual skills. shouldn’t be too hard. resumes are all about wording, and being a english major you should have that on lock!

  93. Good news! There’s hope. I’m living proof that English majors can get real jobs. People actually pay me to daydream and write! Sometimes, even stuff for the internet.

    Best of luck on being internet famous!

  94. obsidianfactory

    yeah it’s based on don quixoti I remembered as you told me (I am an english major too)

    I feel useless too lol

  95. Is it bad this blog made me feel even better for choosing computer science? Though like you it was more because I’m passionate about it rather than a financial future choice 🙂

    • Not at all. I wish I’d done CS. I realized too late that I’m more passionate about making things than just writing, and you can make a lot more things if you’re not limited to strings and arrays.

  96. Marc Schuster

    Two words: graduate school. You might not get a job afterward, but at least you’ll be able to tell people you’re in graduate school for the next couple of years. Maybe even a decade, if you manage to stretch it out long enough.

  97. aviatrixkim

    Similar life plan, similar result.

  98. English still has value, just not always in ways that can be monetized. When this whole empire of derivatives and high frequency trading is, people will need the face-to-face interactions and philosophizing digressions to keep the world grounded. Obviously some sort of validation has happened in terms of your studies to be “Freshly Pressed”! Just don’t do what I did and pursue a master’s degree – keep the courses short and as a means to network only.

  99. Don’t feel bad, I went through the same crisis and I was a psychology major. How could I help others if after 5 years I couldn’t figure myself out?

    Judging by the number of likes, I think you’re well on your way. Congrats on being Freshly pressed!

  100. Dml

    I have a degree in American Popular Culture. This post describes my life. So good.

  101. James

    Damn, how’d I run into this blog? I’m right there with you–recently graduated english major from Stanford and lost! My whole draw group in school was CS and Chem E.

    Always nice to know i’m not alone!

  102. Hilarious! As a former English major and now English teacher, I love this. The question of what “skills” students are learning in my classes is a perennial one.

  103. Ashley

    Funny how you landed front page on your first post too! It was meant to be 🙂

  104. LOL Interesting observations! And an oroboros is one of those dragon-y serpenty-things that swallows it’s own tail, right? A metaphor for life’s futility if ever there was one. Hang in there. Things will get better. After all you *are* Freshly Pressed now:)

  105. Great post and illustrations! I’m also blogging as a way to stick my toe in the water and see if I can get paid to write, so far it has been pretty rewarding (mentally, not financially).

  106. This is fabulous! And I love your illustrations as much as your writing. So glad this got Freshly Pressed! …and on your first post! Who does that?

  107. Well, at least this way you are avoiding being surrounded by people who would rather ignore or humiliate you during the daily grind for being more intelligent than they are ;-). Alternately, if you had attained a ‘functional’ degree you could have either fast tracked into management (and been hated by those who had been working for it the old fashioned way) or belatedly realise that your so-called ‘practical’ degree was actually enough to start at the very bottom doing the photocopying and making tea.

    ‘Tis why a part time job whilst at uni is very necessary, to gain that underling experience, and why so many youngsters start working through college/high school as well. However, you’ve obviously got talent so do what you do best and do it well. You have an advantage in that all of the literature you studied probably gave you a better insight to human nature, behaviour and ethics.

    Great initial post and my compliments to the illustrator!

  108. Wow, your first post and it’s already FP’d. Ok, this was kinda funny :)) Goodluck on making lotsa money here!

    Bumped here from Freshly Pressed. Have a great day!

  109. I’m with your parents, I see a bright future for you…!! Congratulations on a great blog and on being Freshly Pressed on your very first posting?! That has got to be a first in itself…

  110. Congrats on being FP, that’s pretty exciting.

    As far as getting a degree in English. . . As long as you can prove that you have developed some skills (contributed to your college paper, perhaps?) then at least you’ll have something to offer.

  111. Miriam Joy

    I found this very interesting – and amusing. And congrats on getting Freshly Pressed with your first post, I expect that’s pretty good fun! 😀 I’m going to subscribe, because from what I can see from one post you’ve got a nice style, so you have to make sure you continue to impress me 🙂

  112. R

    Hmmm.
    All is not lost, these people need your skills.
    http://www.cracked.com/write-for-cracked/

  113. Rachel

    From one English major to another: You rock. Whoever said “be whatever you want to be” should have included a caveat for the study of post-modern literature and poerty. Also, great post and very deserving of FP. Best of luck!!

  114. lisaalinh

    I loved this post! As an journalism major who also took time to “find myself”, I totally understand! I hope this blog works out well for you 🙂

    – Lisa @ lisaalinh.wordpress.com

  115. Same situation. I got a degree in Spanish and German. People constantly ask, “Oh to teach?” No, not to teach, just because I like to travel and understand people. I lived in Chile for three years and people constantly were all, “Mmmkay…so you speak Spanish. So does, like, everyone else.” Now, I’m studying an MBA. Something useful, they say.

  116. Trusty Sidekick

    I have an English degree with a concentration in writing, and thought the doors of fabulous writing jobs would simply fly open the minute that fake, graduation day diploma was put in my hand. Yeah….I ended up working at a daycare center for a bit. Reality totally kicked my ass. After spending 3 mindless years at a promotional ad agency, I got laid off (bad at the time, best thing ever now), and landed a job at a magazine. Getting great experience and actually getting to write. Who woulda thunk it?

  117. Junior R Infante

    It can be frustrating, but in the world wide web you might find yourself after all. Wish you good luck.

  118. Unfortunately, it just so happens that people in “real life” expect you to have these pesky things called “skills,” –the story of my life!!

  119. I loved the whole post, but the Illustrations particularly. (Moon babes were a nice touch.) Good luck!

  120. Nice! (I posted about this on my own blog – hope you don’t mind.) http://alwaysstanding.blogspot.com/2011/10/sadly-true.html

  121. I can’t believe how interesting this post is. You are definitely gifted. Would you be willing to guest post on my blog?

  122. Love this post – your writing is great and those illustrations are hilarious! I can definitely relate as history and politics degrees don’t make finding a job super easy, but it’s always better to do something you love, even if it’s not the easiest way to go. Seems like your blog writing is paying off since you’re aleady freshly pressed – congrats, it’s well deserved!

  123. GG

    Love that post of yours. Incredible. You are very brave to follow your heart. Keep writing and one day you will definitely become billion-dollar author…

  124. Best. Post. Ever. This makes me feel better about pursuing an English degree in the future. 😀

  125. Hmmm. Maybe my Psychology degree is to blame for me pouring out my pointless observations and drawings onto the internet as well? Ow, I just looked into myself and didn’t like the feeling. Wait, I know, I’ll drown it with my old friend booze.

    -Congrats on freshly pressed by the way. 🙂

  126. Joyce

    I’m a retired high school English teacher, lovin’ it and “Eating off the fat of the land!” Your art is fantastic! You can sell it online like me (see my blogs and web links).

    If you’re interested, you can start earning extra income this week in your free time by forum posting and/or tutoring English online with Skype.

    For contact information, email me or leave a comment at my blog.

    • If anyone is interested in making more money, you can start earning extra income this week in your free time by forum posting and/or tutoring English online with Skype. (See my previous post above.)

      For contact information, email me or leave a comment at my blog.

  127. Welcome to the fold fellow English major. Consider yourself lucky you didn’t try to convince yourself you’re a lawyer. That didn’t go so well for me. There’s money out there somewhere, at least that’s what I keep telling myself. Hope you find some! No doubt Stanford’s English Department will be looking for a poster child.

  128. Awesome. Now I’m going to add some of your words on my GRE vocab list. Your art is amazing. Congrats on being FP, the ultimate goal of mine since I joined WP!

  129. Hah! Love it, and love the illustrations. You’ll figure out something, probably sooner than later since you can actually write in an amazingly engaging way. Even those people with the really super specific degrees are still trying to figure out what the heck they’re doing with life… =)

  130. I absolutely love this! I’m in the same boat – recent graduate, smart but can’t find work, meaningless degree in tow (psychology), and the desire to do nothing more than write all day.

    Alright, who wants to hire me?…Now don’t all rush up at once!

    I hope you find (or create) the perfect job for yourself. I look forward to hearing about your future adventures. Welcome to WordPress and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  131. Your English degree combined with a natural talent has given you the ability to write in an appealing way. This is a skill – unfortunately it just isn’t one that you can’t guarantee having because whether your writing is good to someone is completely subjective.

    That said, I really enjoyed reading this and the drawings are cute! Good luck on becoming a professional blogger!

  132. chunter

    Best first post ever! Best wishes in all you do.

  133. I’ll have my English degree next year. Plans for the future? Graduate school. I’ll keep earning graduate English degrees until I die with a million dollars in unpaid student loans. If I can’t earn a million, or billion as you hope, at least I can earn a negative million.

  134. Nice job. I totally, utterly relate to you on ever level. I have a good degree in Journalism, turned down a couple of good offers in the UK and ran off to Canada for a year.

    Just over three years later and I have landed immigrant status, am able to finally get a job in something I want to do, but WAIT! There’s nothing. I’ve applied for various writing-related openings, written countless impressive (at least I thought so!) cover letters telling about my adventures, pretty good freelance portfolio, and qualifications. BUT! Nothing.

    So here’s to you!

    And thanks to WordPress. I feel better about it all today (as you must do too), as I spent most of yesterday afternoon working on another article I was extremely proud of, and I’ve been Fresh Pressed today!

    High Five! Keep at it!

  135. I completely understand what you’re going through. I was a journalism and English minor, and unfortunately, like you, I have not been able to find anyone willing to hire me. It’s a sad, sad truth that many of us spend all this time in college only to be left with not many job offers after earning our degrees. But, as you said, perhaps there is something to this blogging bit. Indeed we shall see! Good luck to you!!

    Gavie

  136. This made my day. I officially love you, so don’t worry if you don’t love yourself. Honestly, I can’t believe nobody hired you as a zombie hunter. I can think of plenty of instances in which having a zombie hunter would prove to be of vital importance.

    • Official love? I can’t believe this if finally happening. I knew those zombie skills would pay off someday! We’ll have to keep it a secret though, since parents always swore they’d disown me if I ended up with an Arbitrarian.

  137. Hilarious… and I have a degree in philosophy… so I would know.

  138. I almost got an English degree. But luckily, someone talked some sense into me before I went through with it. I’m sure you’ll do great though! I meant for this to be encouraging, but I feel I have failed you…

  139. Sara Ellis

    Yup. I’m a secretary. Yay me.

  140. i love it! and join the club of worthless degree realized to late…i’m a psychology major that thinks the majority of our population suffers from laziness and cry-baby syndrome rather than pure and diagnosable illnesses and disease. so i would not make a good psychologist. turns out, i found a fabulous job after a few years of figuring out how to combine my skills and my passions. good luck! you’ll be fine.
    http://www.icouldntmakethisshitup.wordpress.com

  141. I got a Theology degree and married a pastor . . . I felt prepared for life, but I was not prepared for poverty ;). Still, I wouldn’t change it. I would hate to be an engineer . . . or married to an engineer. You made a good choice. You may not make any money, but you will be happy. I promise!

  142. I don’t have a degree in English, but I appreciate anything with the words quixotic and ennui in it.

  143. lbyers01

    Well it looks like you’re doing well for yourself! Well, let’s see here. You started this blog yesterday and have one post. You shockingly now have 136 followers, 144 (now 145) comments on that post, and 216 blog likes. HOW DO YOU DO IT MAN!? Your English degree may have done something right 😉

  144. I had just finished glaring at my diploma and contemplating moving it into the bathroom where it belongs (again) before stumbling onto this post. I, too, am a recovering English major. Not so much the recovering part. Definitely the english major part though. Totally relatable and amusing post- thanks for allowing me to laugh at your “credentials” instead of my own, for once!

    (seriously, being an english major ruled.)

  145. English degrees are not useless. I have one. Worked as a book editor, teacher, webmaster, marketing writer, and now corporate trainer. People who can translate industry gibberish into readable prose are valuable. However, you need to keep up on technology, and stay relevant.

    Don’t do grad school, unless is technical or business/law. Liberal arts grad degrees are useless, unless you’re truly a genius and will get the Sterling chair at Yale. Odds are, you’re smart, but not that smart. There is zero demand for those folks. I’ve had people with masters and PhDs working for me. They are living cautionary tales.

    I highly recommend a visit to the a career skills testing center, where they can help you translate your interests and skills into a sustainable career.

  146. Awesome!!!!!!! I truly think that there should be a class in high school called Don’t Get An English Degree.

  147. WOW, you will have tot ell me how you made to the front page with your first post….

  148. kcalmusic

    SLO is awesome, and obviously better than the moon! =D
    Us “Englishers” have to stay together, it’s all we’ve got. haha

  149. This is great! I too was an English Major, and I tried to write a novel my first year after graduating too, because I could’t fnd a job (there was a recession going on in 1993 too). Honestly though, you are awesome, I can just tell ( being an English Major I have special powers as it seems making little money greatly multiplies intuitive skills). I really think making just a normal amount of money has it’s upside, I do. There’s something so precious about an edge, honestly, if you lose that you’ll regret it. Just sayin’.

  150. This is very funny. Weird I’m in high school and up until I started I always wanted to be an English major. I guess I know now that I shouldn’t persue that goal. Keep writing you might get more subscribers like that so says my teacher. This is my first blog to so I wish us both luck.

  151. I can’t stop laughing, this is hilarious. Congrats on being freshly pressed :).

    I’m also an English major too. My parents told me I could do it. I’m sure a private school would hire you to teach English, as you don’t need a certification for that, but if you don’t do kids, I understand.

    Here’s to hoping you find a job soon! Until then, I will laugh at your hilarious wit and self-deprecation. Keep doin’ what you’re doin’.

  152. Really? Freshly Pressed on your first post? I think I hate you.

    Oh, and good luck.

    Crystal

  153. I had the same realization yesterday, which is exactly why I started my blog a 5 am yesterday. Although I didn’t major in English (I minored in Lit. if that counts…) My Film and Media Communications hasn’t exactly screamed “HIRED” to HR either..
    Like you, I can highly related to the suck that is post-grad life.

  154. Love this! Clever, funny and brilliant.

  155. Suellen Grealy

    Anyone can do words – these illustrations are worth a thousand each.

  156. Congratulations on being pressed! It’s a great first post. While you’re working towards internet fame, I thought you might like to read a post I wrote about the ways people figure out their career identity. It’s based on a book I found at a local, used bookstore. According to what the book says about how people find their niche, I’d say you’re on the right track.
    http://figuringoutfulfillment.wordpress.com/2010/10/22/working-out-our-identity/

  157. I love the pictures, can’t wait to read more!

  158. Wait a second; hold the phone! Did your debut blog just get freshly pressed?? Someone has probably already pointed this out, but I haven’t the time to read the 164 comments that you’ve received thus far to your totally awesome post that I (fellow English major) can totally relate to! Well done!
    http://sherriecork.wordpress.com/
    http://eccentricallysimple.wordpress.com/

  159. I don’t really understand this article. I’m in college right now pursuing a degree in English with a minor in Professional Writing. I have every intention of landing a job after school, and it isn’t just a fantasy or some fake notion. There are jobs in the editing and publishing arenas. I’m planning on moving to a big city to get one of those jobs, OR I can pursue a job in technical writing, which deals with writing about scientific products. If you work long enough in this field (typically 5 years) you can earn up to 70,000 a year–pretty lucrative. After I’m finished working in one of these arenas, I’ll get my masters in Library Science and work at a library, which is really my ultimate goal. It all depends on the work experience and other aspects of your resume that you build along the way. English majors can find jobs.

    • I worked in book publishing, and did tech writing, before going corporate (where the $ and opportunities are).

      You probably won’t be making 70k a year in 5 years, unless perhaps you’re talking about NYC/similar major metro area, where you can’t live on 70k a year. Librarians make even less, typically, unless you’re the head of a big department — and those jobs are rare.

      You might be able to translate those skills into a content manager role at a major company, which would make that much in a more affordable, second-tier city. But you’d need tech publishing skills and a portfolio, not a masters in library science (unless you are committed to a data management role — check the Bureau of Labor Statistics to look at job projections for the next decade).

      And if I can offer one more thought to ponder, tech/science writing is boring as hell. If you’re a typical English major, i.e. you have at least an ounce of passion inside you, it’s not a good fit.

      I’d strongly recommend corporate training, law, TV writing, or business. Publishing is dying, and all but the very best content providers have to give their product away, or marry rich (that’s why Jackie O was an editor at Random House — she didn’t need the money, and they benefited from her connections).

  160. Pingback: Oops, I got an English degree. « Writing About Writing

  161. OMG…. I scroll n scroll n scroll down to reach here!
    Congratz for being on Freshly pressed… u sure are funny, internet famous and amazing with telling stories

  162. Shucks, you only have one blog post and already you’ve got a ton of internet fame, being freshly pressed and all! I liked your post, it was witty and silly and poked fun at the blogosphere 🙂 Looking forward to reading more!

  163. Another petit-bourgeois man-infant complaining because his well-to-to parents gave him everything he ever desired. You’d think that an English degree from Stanford would teach you more about style and punctuation, too.

  164. You… you are male equivalent me before I was Freshly Pressed.
    Congratulations on achieving this semblance of internet fame so quickly; it is a hypnotic feeling that should be enjoyed. As many have already said, your illustrations are fantastic, and your honesty is refreshing.
    The best of luck to you as you venture into the insanity of blogging.

  165. I was laughing out loud in the coffee shop. I was an English major too, but I knew exactly what I was getting into. I call it the Starving Artist Major. Still trying to figure out if it was worth it, but I’m still in that awkward just-graduated stage where my life is like a jigsaw puzzle. Thanks so much for the post. It was encouraging in an ironic way 🙂

    • I hope you got some uncomfortable stares! And now that you mention it, I am starving. I’ve been too excited to eat all day. Hope the ironic encouragement leads you to greatness!

  166. I really enjoyed your article! I also graduated with an English degree, and understand your points. I’d like to point out that perhaps you can think about writing comics. Your illustrations are quite good, and since you’re an English major, I’m sure you can come up with some stories. Food for thought!

  167. Get Google to pay you for having their ads on your site after you gain a reader-base. It will at least get you *some* monies.
    Sadly I was an English major, and that was my practical path. What I really wanted to do was be an art major, but I decided it was too impractical. As it turns out, the art degree would have been a lot more useful than the English one.

    Sad panda

  168. I sort of did it backwards, got a job then started doing Uni via correspondence at night… yes during the Uni semester I have very little life of my own, but I have a lot more cash than the majority of my friends and when I finish at the end of next year I will still be working in the same organisation, but in a different job for a minimum of $30K more. It’s crazy what power a little piece of paper provides you right?!

    I still love sleep! In my sleep I dream of being a writer and singer/songwriter and earning the mega bucks and wallpapering an entire room with platinum records. Technically I am a writer and singer/songwriter, most people just don’t know it 😀

    Love the pictures and the story keep it going!

  169. *tsk* A whole English degree, and no one ever told you that both E’s in résumé have accents? 😉

    My BA is, officially, in “English with an emphasis in Creative Writing”. My housemate of four years frequently said that I was the only English major she’d ever known who actually managed to work *in* English without being a teacher. I’ve been a word processor, an assistant editor, a freelance editor, and still am a freelance web content copy editor.

    And now I’m pursuing an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy. Go figure.

  170. pryan51

    Ha! I have a LIBERAL STUDIES degree but I don’t ask if you want fries with that. I’m a Librarian, and find it’s just the perfect degree – a little of this a little of that, and a good grounding in all kinds of things. Best of luck – and I also enjoyed both your writing and the artwork 😀

  171. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed. I’m mega jealous. I love your writing style and am subscribing. Keep up the good work. With your sense of humor, you might consider teaching. I hope you don’t mind my posting my blog address here in the hope of being discovered. http://www.teachingisnotaparttimejob.wordpress.com

  172. neontape

    Hahaha! I can relate to what you are saying and I’m still on the process of finding myself.

  173. Did you just write the story of my life? Because if you trade out the english degree for an art one (just about as equally desirable a skill in this economy), we might be the same person. Here’s to us both trying to get internet famous on our “year off.” Looks like you have a head start! Congrats on freshly pressed, I look forward to reading more!

  174. I’m an English major and I feel precisely the same way. Thanks for the post!

  175. OH jeez – the most useless degree you can get. I had the second most useless degree (communications) – and then I got an MBA. Guess what? It gets you a job. Is it fun? Rewarding? Fulfilling? Satisfying? Thrilling? Adventurous? High-paying? Meh. sigh

  176. This is your first post and you have 188 comments?!? I think you’ve found your calling, mister.

  177. I started out teaching for a little over a decade, and now I spew remorselessly. Love the illustrations for this.

  178. You’re obviously a talented writer, and that’s always worth something (I promise!). Best of luck!

  179. What a coincidence that you live in San Louis Obispo. Isn’t that the where the home of the great newsman, Randolph Hearst, lived? Maybe his aura will rub off on you.

    Good luck!

    Ronnie

    • Haha. I should go spend some time at his castle, although Citizen Kane taught me that he was lonely or some such. Still, I wouldn’t mind some Hearst rubbing.

      Then again, SLO is also home to the giant, horrifying, elephant seals, and I don’t think I’d want them rubbing up on me. Maybe I need to pick and choose my local inspirations…

      • Kelsey

        SLO is such a pretty city – can’t wait to get back! As a former resident of the Cambria/Cayucos/Morro Bay areas, the elephant seals live north of San Simeon which is also the city in which Mr. Hearst built his oh-so-humble abode. I’m sure you know all this, just trying to keep your rapidly expanding fanbase well informed.

        I too might have taken the path of the starving liberal arts grad had I attended college directly out of highschool. Fortunately the world taught me hard but practical lessons before I was able to attend college. Would that my brother learned such lessons before racking up 4 years of Uni tuition… I’ll be nearly 30 when I graduate with a BASHIM, but the mystical “skills” you speak of will finally be mine when I do. Adios retail!

        Best of luck with your blog and becoming a weblebrity! Oh and Sylvesters, Los Osos and Splash Cafe, Pismo – enjoy some for me ok?

  180. From one English major to another (and don’t we all just seem to be here) congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! Look forward to reading more.

  181. Jenny

    As a graduate in History, I feel your pain. Funny thing, everyone told me that the secret to a successful life was getting a college degree. One year post graduation, I’m now quite aware of the fact that no one besides me and my mother care about my college degree–it’s the experience and skills that sell you! I wish I could go back and tell my high school self that a degree alone doesn’t entitle anyone to anything….it apparently doesn’t even give you a starting point farther up the ladder. So far, I’ve really only bypassed having to start as a custodian, lol. Not to say I’m not figuratively scrubbing toilets in some sense or another (where is my eyeroll smiley when i need it?!?!). No matter what course you take, it requires hard work, perseverance, and integrity–from the ground up–to make it to where you want to be.

    Anyway, best of luck to you in your new venture, and for your sake i hope a paycheck comes attached to your soon-to-come internet fame 🙂 I’ll bookmark you, maybe you can market the fact you have one regular reader 😛

  182. 193 responses… and this is your FIRST POST!? i’m so fucking jealous… seriously!!! i’ve never been freshly pressed — i’m starting to think there are some blogger-politics with the freshly pressed thing.

  183. colinstevenadams

    I really enjoyed that, you are quite obviously – very talented. 🙂

  184. I used my degree to become a teacher, and I encourage good writers / readers to have a back up plan. Good luck on your blogging!

  185. Mae

    Skills are overrated. Think of it as ‘gutsy’ that we had enough balls to follow our dreams.

    I’m going back to do MORE studies in English. Mmmhmm.

    • why would you say that!?
      skills let an employer know you are capable of functioning in their environment. why would they hire somebody who they aren’t sure has those skills — just based on “oh they could AFFORD to follow their dreams”!?

  186. doctorate in chemistry and gainfully employed

    Great message, told in a funny tone. Love the pictures.

    AND it is about time somebody said this out loud: An ENGLISH degree is just about as useful as a BIOLOGY degree. The most you can hope for is an office job selling paper and garbage bags. Or maybe, just maybe, Burger King is hiring! Better off joining the circus and giving up the college grad dream and the student loans unless you like sleeping on your parents couch in the clothes you put on four days ago….

    Tell the kids in college to get to work and quit copping out on challenges and major in something USEFUL! Come on, people, wake up!

  187. Wow. I don’t even know where to begin! I woke up this morning (afternoon) and decided to check on my new blog, but the number of views seemed largely impossible. I figured I must’ve still been in the blissful world of dreams, but I called my artist Sam Julian, and he swore that this was, in fact, reality.

    But then a computer technician and two plumbers showed up to my extremely leaky apartment, and I had to deal with them for a couple hours before I could verify my existence.

    Freshly Pressed! I can’t believe it! Thanks everyone for all the positive feedback. And for all you fellow liberal arts majors out there, maybe it can work out!

    I’ll be posting every Tuesday, and Sam will keep up his fantastic art, so check back for some more Reasonably Ludicrous content!

  188. Your story reminds me of the song that starts off the Musical, Avenue Q. One of the characters that is eventually going to become one of the main characters starts the scene off with “What do you do – with a B.A. in English? What is my life going to be? Four years of college and plenty of knowledge have earned me this useless degree. I can’t pay the bills yet, cause I’ve got no skills yet. The world is a big scary place! But somehow I can’t shake – the feeling – I might make – a different to the human race!”

    But I can relate considering I’m a little in the same boat. Thank you for sharing your experience and making it entertaining in such a creative way. 🙂

  189. interesting blog – I enjoyed rezding it – makes me wonder what opportunities will pop up for me if & when I major in Japanese XD (no idea what i want to do with that major)

  190. Oldenkamp

    Dear Young Mr. Nickel: As one English major to another, please allow me to add to your muckle of comments.

    Do not despair. Holding a degree in English is neither a disgrace nor a fatal flaw. Just a weakness. There is help for that. Many have suffered this condition. Many have overcome this disability. You will at least have the joy of reading and writing.

    I can almost guarantee you that at this very moment, you are carrying in your pants the name of another English major who went on to larger things: a hint, those initials are HMP.

    Also see: http://ualr.edu/english/index.php/home/resources/job-info/famous/

    So be inspired and enjoy life!

    Cheers, OLDENKAMP

    P.S. This sentence needs modification: “Sure, living in San Luis Obispo is nice, but it’s no the moon.” Would J. Tiberius Kirk have said it so?

    • What would life be without weaknesses to overcome? I keep taking off my pants and looking around, but I can’t seem to figure it out! Who is this HMP? All I can see is my shame.

      • Oldenkamp

        That would be: Henry M. Paulson. You should be familiar with that name….You have seen it THOUSANDS of times…it is a name of great currency, even today….

      • Dang! I thought of all the presidents, but I had no idea the Secretary of the Treasury signed the bills! Lucky for me, I had literally no cash in my wallet, so I can’t feel quite as bad.

  191. interesting blog – I enjoyed reading it – makes me wonder what opportunities will pop up for me if & when I major in Japanese XD (no idea what i want to do with that major)

  192. Having lots of pic’s helps one to get Freshly Pressed on WordPress…well done.

  193. Tee

    I am right there with you, pal. Somehow my English degree turned me into an English teacher, and now I am torturing innocent souls. It’s a zombie English world out there. But live on. You WILL find a use for your words. Words have power. I’ve had a rough week. Hey, you’ve made my week better. That counts for something, doesn’t it?

  194. jjhausman

    wouldn’t recommend all to follow their dreams but you have talent
    villagebandwidth.com

  195. I course-corrected my English degree shortly after graduation by getting a teacher certification. Oops! We dreamy saps never learn…

  196. EmmieElle

    I am nearly done with my “worthwhile” degree…but I’ve decided not to use it. My newest mantra? No regrets. Learn from it and use what you have. Enjoy yourself!

  197. Lol – as a journalism major, I can tell you that I truly feel your pain!

  198. Zack Solomon

    Russ Nickel is a GOD!!! This is easily the best blog post I’ve ever read in my entire life. Someone should pay you millions of dollars to pedal their wares.

  199. Pingback: So I have my degree, now what? | Mr. Sentiment's Parlour

  200. Mr. D

    Oh hey I forgot to mention a good breakfast cereal. Rice Crunch-Ems . . Highly recommended for post “dream world” consumption, to begin another day in physical reality fortified and ready to charge into the arena.

  201. You probably will not answer this comment because you already have soo many of them. But this is hillarious. I am a Delta Zeta at SDSU and my big is an english major….I am definitely going to send this to her.

    -Bianca

  202. This is one of the best blog introductions I’ve read in a while. Way to go on hooking me in.

    My first job actually utilized my English degree… though none of the skills I learned in college (I taught English in Japan). Now I’m using my science degree to pay the bills, and like you, hoping to strike gold with the internet.

  203. vegburger

    Great post!! The only thing worse than an English degree is a creative writing degree 🙂

  204. Uh-oh, I’M an English Major right now…is this what I have to look forward to? (or perhaps, “to what I have to look”?)

  205. Hilarious. I get it. You never know. You could one day log into Facebook and there’s a private message from a friend who tells you he wants to write a book and you could be the right co-author. You could submit a chapter, hit your competition out of the park, and it becomes reality. Once in a while, dreams do come true. . .via cyberspace and virtual realities 😉

  206. OUTSTANDING! You had me from Oops, I got an English degree! I think you’re going to be just fine. All the best and congrats on being FP’D!

  207. The sad thing is that your story would be a lot funnier if millions of us didn{t share in it, were not a part of it, all competing to work for the few respectable writing jobs left in the market – the very same job market which values an experienced HVAC man (handy with an exacto blade and knowledge of where the pilot light is – but somebody’s got to, right?) over intellect, the ability to form a logical argument and form a cohesive sentence, and communicate ideas effectively.

    But we have facebook and twitter, so clear communication took a backseat to constant and fast and abundant communication somewhere back in the 2008s.

    We’re screwed.

  208. Did you do the illustrations too?

    I feel your abstract/social/anxiety-driven pain. But I bet that even if you weren’t a Stanford kid, you’d figure out some way to make some money and get by and express yourself too.

    Keep going. Keep writing.
    And good luck.

  209. This post is AWESOME. I missed majoring in English by this much. Funny thing is, your post is actually making me reconsider. *Yikes!* Please keep on blogging.

  210. Pingback: [you can help a struggling english major!] « The Happy Side

  211. nixxyknox

    What they said.
    Hello! Happy Writing.
    Also, Congrats on the English major. Probably the best major in the world.

    I mean it.
    (I double majored in it.)

    L

  212. I’ve got an Electronics degree but make my money online editing English. I hear writing pays better, but I can’t write about an assigned topic like this was some sort of English class. I’m giving away what I know, and seriously there are no strings or hidden fees or BS, at http://www.editormichael.com/?cat=575 . It might be a way for you to buy more Ramen noodles while you look for a real job. I’m about to return to the US after 12 years in Asia, and I might need a real job. I hope not. 🙂

  213. hahaha I enjoyed this…but it also makes me scared of my majors.

  214. Ah well. I’m still getting an English degree, even though I KNOW it’s useless. There’s no pointing spending tuition on something I don’t like, right? And I’ll be going to law school next, so that should make up for my lost income. 🙂

  215. I’ve read (and written!) more posts from recent English grads pondering their next move than I can guess. The writing here is fresh and fun. But it’s the combination with the illustrations that sets you apart. Have fun, good luck!

  216. Hmm. I never trust an unreliable narrator (e.g., one who blames his troubles on his choice of a major).

  217. Enjoyed reading this post! I was already querying the idea of studying English at degree level, this has now put my mind at ease.

  218. When you look back, 20 or so years from now, you’ll know you earned the right degree. When I earned my English degree from James Madison University, everyone was very concerned that i didn’t get a teaching certificate, too. (As an aside, you can totally substitute teach most places without a certificate, make some extra $$, have a flexible schedule, and keep busy in positive way.)

    A long career in publishing has taken me from being a writer to a publisher and everything in between. Keep an open mind and take on every challenge and opportunity. The opportunities come in many different forms, and being a good, critical thinker is an asset.

    This is a terrific post, and I look forward to hearing more form you. English majors unite!

  219. Your post was funny! I love humor, and this was great. Lol…I didn’t get an English degree, but my English professor and Broadcast/Journalism professor both wanted and encouraged me to pursue a writing career. My English professor wanted me to pursue creative writing, and my Broadcast/Journalism professor wanted me to pursue journalism. Needless to say, I was bent on the major that I chose, psychology. However, after completing my degree and searching for jobs, I found that there are not many jobs specifically for those with undergraduate degrees, and if there are jobs, then they are pretty low. In psychology, to make a nice salary, you have to continue on and get a Master’s and/or doctorate.

    With your English degree, you can actually teach English as a subject or foreign language in the U.S. or abroad which is what I’ve done. I love writing though, and would love to have a career doing so.

    I enjoyed your post:-)

  220. Rula Mazigi

    Another English major here (double major psych but I count that even less). I have to admit that your story sounds a lot like mine except that I’m probably way too much older to still be in the same spot as you are haha.
    I started my own blog just two months ago, but taking the “let’s delve deep down into the consciousness of mankind to find out what Life truly IS” route doesn’t seem to be a bestseller of tickets haha Either way I love blogging just for the sake of it. As for ‘freshly pressed’, not sure what that is but if it’s capable of getting someone 250 odd comments in one day that’s pretty impressive. I wonder if you’ll be be responding to all 250 odds and evens? Funny and witty first blog, the art is great too! Thanks for sharing.

  221. You should probably say–

    And then it hit me: The internet.

    –or some variant if you mean it to be literal.

    I’ve studied a long and pointless list of things but I’ve never asked or paid a dime for it. I would KILL to have your degree. . .

    but all I have are words.

  222. Amelia

    Poor you, but on the bright side (for me) you are one of the few internet people who can spell, use English grammar properly and at all times, and provide some clever play on words. My philosophy prof (elective, sorry, can’t commiserate) took attendance every day by using titles and last names, so “Mr. Doran, Miss Dwight, Miss Demeanor”. I burst out laughing, but sadly, was the only one that did.

  223. I love it!!! Laughing is the BEST medicine!

  224. You are hilarious! Good luck to the new career!

  225. I enjoyed this post. 🙂 I am currently finishing my degree in English but, unlike you, my parents aren’t really that supportive of me in this. My grandmother even asks what would happen to me after college. I mean they see it as something irrelevant given that I belong to a society where professional title is such a huge thing. Anyhow, I like that you have found blogging as a potential job. Try online freelance writing sites (at least those that won’t make you pay membership fees) though. 🙂 Have fun blogging! 🙂

  226. genesismeranda

    Haha This was awesome. I’m also sometimes afraid my degree will land me somewhere close to this.

  227. Wow, so many of us “English” grads living the life. I took mine through finance and law and happily ended up in manufacturing as a tech writer/trainer. Who has more fun than factory workers!
    PERHAPS you should continue with the artistic side. Works very well together!

  228. lectorconstans

    At least, yours is one of the few blogs to really fit the term “Freshly Pressed”.

    It looks like there are two main career paths open to you: writing and teaching. If you’re thinking about teaching, you’ll need a teaching credential. If you’re thinking about writing, well, writers write. Ray Bradbury’s advice was to write a story a week. Every week. At the end of a year, you’ll have 52 stories, and at least one of them has to be good.

    Did you do the art work? (It seems pretty much tailored to your story.) If you did, you’ve got a big step up on your next move.

    • Amelia

      Actually, if you want to teach, you can go overseas and teach English in Japan or Taiwan etc. All they require is that you have a degree and they don’t really care in what.

  229. Most enjoyable read. Can’t wait for the next one.

  230. As an English major who looks back and thinks…what the heck, I had to read this and sympathize. What I did was move to Korea to teach English (our status goes up here!) and blog about it. Dang we have the same dream! A toast to our future dreams ^^

  231. Hilarious!!! I wanted to get an English degree but the entire world convinced me not to do it. Sometimes I regret not pursuing it, but then sometimes I think I probably made the right decision. You know a profession that is looking for people with English degrees? Public relations. That’s what I do. There is a lot of writing involved in the field and you have to know how to tell compelling stories. I work at a PR agency and we have hired several people with English degrees. Just an idea for you 🙂

    Love the blog! Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed on your first post. That’s amazing!

  232. Best wishes for a bright future!

    From: Another English Major

  233. Jonas Kehrbaum

    Did you really go Stanford? That’s what so many people dream of… In the end you are right; people have to get out do an internship and gain work experience to get a job. How does it work for an English major?
    My question for you is:
    What does a prestigious school like Stanford tell their English majors to do WHILE they are working on it?

  234. Wow; that’s a lot of comments, but I’ll add mine anyway. I majored in English, Creative Writing. Got my BA. However, all I’ve ever done is work in science labs, with proteins, and DNA. I have not, so far, used the degree for anything useful, but it was good to have a BA in something.

  235. Um … that’s what I thought, too. Here I am, 30 years later, two careers that are not really “English degree related,” and still not very happy that I haven’t become a successful, published writer. Except on here, that is!

  236. Ha! So much truthiness! That’s why I got a Biology major… and then went to work in the English fields, where people also don’t take me too seriously! Way to go me!

  237. Not an English major, but also just graduated, and just started a blog (because it will totally make me rich…hahahaha). Love the illustrations!

  238. you can do anything if you put your mind to it!

    i love this, what your mom said to u. 🙂

    and the images are so great! are they draw by yourself? cool!

  239. msperfectpatty

    I’m not an english major for fear of not being able to find a job after graduation, but I wish I had the balls you do to actually go after what I really love no matter the outcome. I commend you for that.

  240. As a–ahem–PHILOSOPHY major whose parents also said, “Follow your dreams,” I can definitely relate. But don’t worry, it all comes together eventually. Promise. Keep up the good work! Very funny and well written.

  241. Yo Mama

    Awesome! I laughed out loud for the first time in days when reading your blog. I guess I found that not all is lost.

  242. librariandiva2

    People always asked if I wanted to be a teacher and when I told them no, they asked me what I was going to do with my English degree! I loved it and am so glad I pursued it, it’s helped me in more ways than you think.

  243. I’m an English major right now too! But I’m aiming to go into law school with it. If that doesn’t work, I too am screwed ><

  244. Hello Fellow English Major. =) Nice interjection of quixotic ( I love to use words like that whenever possible ;] ) And Congrats on being freshly pressed!

  245. Don’t feel bad, I was foolish enough to get a Master’s degree in English. After teaching college freshmen for four years, I’m ready to go back for something even more useful – a Master’s in CREATIVE WRITING. Hi5!

  246. Love the comics, love the style, love the writing, love the story, love the combination of all of the above – unfortunately I’m not a publisher so all “my love” is not really worth a lot and won’t get you out of “finding a real job” 😉 But, I’m so positive you are going to make it, that I’m willing to bet the remainder of coin purse on your imanent succes (roughly 10 Euros) – afterall you already made f.p. 😉 Here’s to your succesful future 🙂

  247. I love it! English majors unite! I started a blog for the very same reasons. 🙂 Go us! Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

  248. Nice! This was definitely one of my favourite Freshly Pressed stories. Congrats on that, by the way! I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts. Cheers!

  249. If this is your first post, you are well on your way to becoming blog gold. Great writing and kick ass illustrations?? A perfect match to be sure. As a fellow English major who became an English teacher, I identify, I really do. Rock on brother, rock on.

  250. This will be me in a few years.

  251. Exodus

    lol, i always like English majors. actually i am back to uni for my second degree in English literature and linguistics. you can be a teacher. pack your stuff, go travelling and teach English. it’s fun. 😀

  252. As someone who can’t afford college, just be blessed to have the opportunity to get a degree. My Ph.D. from the School of Hard Knocks is sometimes useless.

  253. Freaking hilarious! Congrats on the English degree; I declare mine constantly as I correct the grammar of others who weren’t as well versed as we were in college. And welcome to the blogosphere; it really is a haven for English majors. Kudos on being Freshly Pressed!

  254. Looks like you’re doing pretty well, judging from the fact you’re “Freshly Pressed”. Of course, you have a lot of competition from other people who want to make their livings off the internet. Best advice anyone can give to you is to keep doing it.

    Incidentally, if you write and publish a book (electronic or not) or something like I did, it’ll probably work out in your favor.

  255. Like so many others, I needed this! I decided against getting an English degree after high school and pursued what I thought would be more stable and provide an income so THAT I could write. Guess how that’s gone. Now I’m 33 and regretting that decision, and back in school. To save face, I’m majoring in Writing, not English 😛 Point is, we’re all screwed no matter what. Whatever degree we pursue, employers of the opposite will be hiring!

  256. Loved it! Look forward to more…

  257. The best part of being an English major is you get to spend the rest of your life spotting punctuation errors no one else cares about and reaffirming your belief that this somehow makes you smarter than that overpaid scientist, stockbroker, real estate agent, grade school teacher that is currently being employed by someone to do something where they get paid.

    ps loved the blog. nice work.

  258. Nick

    What a fantastic first post! Reading it took me back to the moment of panic after I finished my Bachelor of Communication, which is just as skill-heavy as English. I, too, decided to take a year off and travel straight afterwards but good old reality awaits at the end of the line unfortunately. Best of luck with the blogging.

  259. Cai

    I was facing the same dilemma so I decided to switch from English to Film & Video at the last minute. I figure people don’t read anymore so I might as well write movies right?

    Love the humor and as a former animator and artist, also appreciating the radical illustrations. I wish you luck on your conquest of the e-world.

  260. Lol. I loved your post. I plan on attending college for a degree in History, and English is to be my (hopefully) second major.
    That was actually one of my concerns when considering majors, but I figure that in the long run, doing what I love will work out best for a while. Right. Anyhow, good luck, and any advice for a fellow future famous writer? 🙂 😉

  261. Great Post! Hahaha. I’m an English major too. And I am very, very anxious about graduating. XD Keep at it!

  262. And just have to say, THIS IS YOUR FIRST POST? Talk about achievement!

  263. From one English major to another, you had me in stitches. Can’t wait to read more!

  264. Kimberly

    Wow, your blog sure is popular already. 🙂 I just switched from pursuing an English degree, which I loved, to an elementary ed major which I will someday love, I hope. I sure miss my English classes, but I’m trying to be practical and I love working with children. You make me feel a little better.

  265. Hahahahaha….you are funny!!!!

  266. As a High School senior, I now know which major NOT to pursue. hehe. This post was great!

  267. Arghh! No, don’t compete against me! I’m an English major trying to become internet famous, too! (At least I’m still in school, though, so I’m in no immediate danger of starving.)
    Congratulations on a hilarious beginning to your quest.

  268. crawlingladybug

    Hahahahahahaha, first post and you are on Freshly pressed list.. Congratulation on your achievement!! 😆

  269. Congratulations! 🙂 Btw, I love your drawings! That is one talent I do not have. 😦

  270. anneris31

    Great post! Your use of humor with such a dreary topic was perfect. I especially loved the ambiguous Don Quixote reference. As a psych major, I empathize. My major isn’t very respected among potential employers–or friends, for that matter. I think english, psych, and philosphy majors are some of the most ridiculed groups of students. As if we didn’t work hard for our degrees like everyone else.

  271. First post and Freshly Pressed? Let’s hope you can get yourself a job out of this. 🙂 Congratulations! Loved this haha

  272. onesoybean

    I loved this! Keep writing!!!! As long as you are happy and doing your best, that’s all that really matters!

  273. Wow. You gotta feel like a rock star with the hundreds of likes & comments!! Way to go with the post & good luck with your get-rich-quick scheme! ; )

  274. Sukanya Ramanujan

    Congratulations on the fp! Guess you’ve made it in life now…stardom is well nigh…whatever.
    Skills are overrated btw!

  275. The Mommy Lane

    Great Post. I only hope to write as well as you do. Congrats on all the likes and comments!!

  276. I recently re-started up my blog. I’m no English major, but I do love to write, so, I am taking my blog and just putting myself out there.

    Ganbatane (Good luck in Japanese), with your blog.

  277. Two kids, two English degrees. Your writing is compelling (which is rare for blogs). Now don’t spend ALL your time writing back on these responses. Shit gets crazy!
    Les

    • I just can’t help myself! Must.Not.Sleep.Until.Respond.Everything.

      Uh oh. Even my ability to type in complete sentences is breaking down. I guess that’s what 3:40am does to you.

  278. Esma

    Oh I love your drawings! Ever considered drawing comics? 🙂

  279. Absolutely brilliant. It would be wrong of you to not keep writing.

  280. Erleen H.

    I think I just read the story of my life. What makes it worse is having an English major living in a Spanish speaking country… and then it hit me too. Hope to read more soon! 🙂

  281. I’m beginning to give up on blogging when I saw this. Lol! Hence, lemme click that subscribe button.

  282. This was funny, entertaining text and great illustrations too. We share the same realization every morning. I also blog in English, but I don’t have a degreee, it’s not even my mothers tounge. I’m a bilingual-blogger.
    Keep the posts coming, and good luck out there in the great, big, depressing, meaningless, job-market!

    Like Henry Chinaski (Charles Bukowski) so elegantly put it in the Post Office:

    Any damn fool can beg up some kind of job; it takes a wise man to make it without working.

  283. Got a good laugh out of this. I’m getting my M.A. in French right now and yes, I’m still sorting through the what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up thing.

  284. First post and your freshly pressed! You’re obviously doing something right! 🙂
    Great post and congratulations!

  285. Keep at it, Russ.

    Your English degree means you’re a few of many who’s able to read and write about stuff others may not even know about….. that’s part of being an English major… (sigh) all this knowledge, where does it go?

  286. you got my vote :’)

  287. p

    Enjoyable post. 🙂

    P.S. I did a Marketing major always wishing I did an English degree instead, now – not so sure.

  288. Tom's the Bomb

    I just saw your dad. He said you had almost 10,000 views, which means you’re already at .01% of Rebecca Black’s views! Just 10,000 more fabulously successful posts and you will attain that level of stardom reserved for youtube videos that fail magnificently!

  289. i can see my future!! even though i am a computer major! 🙂

  290. Welcome to the life of any and all creative college grads. Music was my path of choice, still not making millions 😉

  291. Hahaha I love it! Can’t wait to hear more. I really like you’re writing style. It’s so quirky and absolutely funny – yet truthful.

  292. This was pretty dang awesome. I loved the cartoons! This helped me to feel better about not pursuing an english degree. As much fun as I thought it would be, this makes it seem like it definately wouldn’t have been worth it.

  293. Dude, I’m the same boat as you, kind of. Except I got my degree in Spanish.

  294. *in the same boat as you*. typo. lol

    • I dunno. I kind of liked the idea that we were both boats. As an English major, I’ve been trained to read everything as some sort of metaphor and figured that we were both floating along the river of life or some such. But I guess being in the same boat is alright too 🙂

  295. I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum. I would love to be an english major and not an engineer (and fat lot of good engineering is doing me anyway because i don’t have an IOTA of clue about what exactly I am supposed to do as one so I simply pass from semester to semester with a fat load of notes and examples that I mostly mug up) and I would be inclined to think you are rather lucky. Also your idealistic parents are such sports; mine would never be. So in short I would love to be in your boots but I guess the grass is always greener on the other side, isn’t it? 🙂

  296. Ooops.. I was an English major too. I find it makes me interesting at cocktail parties when I can quote random books that almost no one has actually read.

    Very cool blog.

  297. Love the post and love the name too!!!!! Waiting to hear more stories 🙂 Thumbs up!!!

  298. English is one of the three or four most popular undergrad majors. Everyone who has one is wondering what they did with their lives. Kinda weird how the world works, isn’t it?

  299. Austaniteatsea3

    =(…. not very comforting to an English Freshmen but…. in the words of Polonius, “To thine own self be true.” i’ll think of what i can do with the piece of paper in 2015 =)

    • If you’re quoting Polonius, there’s nothing you can’t do!

      Sitting in class in Sophomore year of High School discussing Hamlet was actually when I decided I wanted to pursue English. Love that play, and I had the best teacher ever. Shoutout to Dr. Rappaport (I wonder if anyone reading this knows him.)

      • Austaniteatsea3

        Haha, thanks but I believe if I use quotations from Shakespeare in every aspect of my life I’ll probably end up on a milk carton…

        In other words I will be living in a cardboard box with nothing to my name but a typewriter

  300. happytobedebbiet

    Hilarious, and so spot on! I can relate. Keep on blogging please. 🙂

  301. PHILO: At one point one has to cultivate the art of effortless existence; free from imposing idealistic sayings + do’s & don’ts in life

  302. Awesome Blog ! I am going through exactly the same thing, except I am a biologist. No one wants to know what you know about that frog that no one cares about…. Very few jobs available for my kind of nerd.

  303. I really enjoyed this post! 🙂 Congrats on being FP-ed! =D

  304. Mate – this is all strangely familiar. By all rights I should be swinging across chasms being chased by morally challenged but highly qualified contempories with ludicrous German accents. Following my heart was supposed to ultimately lead to the kwan. Maybe that’s been the problem all along!

    Great writing. Interesting topic. Will keep tabs. Best of luck.

  305. I graduated with English as my major too. Drama was my second major. I have since founbd work int he collectio’s business doing admin work. It is crazy when you learn just how much your education stacks up to in the real world, doesn’t it?

  306. newdaydawns

    Wow your blog is hilarious. I especially loved your pictures..

  307. ameliaflorencesimmons

    Oh no. Oh god. Hello, my life. Except having women thrown at me, I definitely escaped that. Did they give you the ‘transferable skills’ line? Transferable to the bin….

    Anyway, congratulations on an ace post, condolences on the English degree, and good luck.

  308. 🙂 If I weren’t married I’d propose to you on the spot – great illustrations and totally love English and reading (The classics and strictly Dean koontz). Stick with it 🙂 my mother always said, that if you do something you love you’ll never work a day in your life!! (So you see, you’ve got it right) – I’d much prefer to be a beta tester for X-Box games, but hey – I still love what I do. Wanting to start work on attaining my English degree from next year actually – it’s what I should have done from the start…

  309. smxmn

    Fine Art Major here. Still no clue what to do after I get my degree. I’ve got that I’ll-figure-it-out-as-it-goes attitude, and every day feels just that little bit more stressful. Doesn’t help much that all my friends are bright engineers and business majors. They’ve got their lives planned out, wonder what that’s like.

  310. Nel

    Awesome graphics. Looking forward to your regular updates.

  311. myemilyrose

    I did the same degree…..hm….and for months a freaked out, but I just kept looking and one day the perfect job came up!!!!! 🙂 now an editorial assistant for a magazine! Keep the faith!

  312. Love the drawings and the narrative! From one English major to another–no matter what happens, it’s worth it. Or as someone once said, “It teaches you to live without the job you can’t get.”

  313. Ha ha ha…brilliant! Being an English literature graduate myself I know exactly what you are talking about. My father was fairly annoyed with my decision, but I thought what the hell, this is going to be the best and easiest thing I will be doing…little I knew what I was getting into…Its been more than 10 years after my graduation and now having a somewhat good job and everything, I am still totally clueless about what I am doing now and what I am gonna do next :-)…But don’t why I kinda enjoy it, too.

    Loved your post. Will be coming back for more.

  314. The Empty Notebook

    Wow! Your first post and you’re already Freshly Pressed? Congrats!
    I was thinking of majoring in English, but maybe I should think again… 🙂
    Enjoyed reading your post!

    K

  315. Sibel Catana

    Awesome blog post. I can see this story as a comic book. Very nice doodles as well. 🙂
    I don’t have an English Degree, but I am working on my writing for many, many years… 😀

  316. Hahahaha! You think you’ve got it bad? Try being an English degree holder from a Nigerian university. Good luck with fame. (And great illustrations).

  317. indiraadams

    What an AMAZING blog post. The BEST freshly pressed I’ve ever read. You’re parents money was not wasted because you have true talent. And I’m still trying to figure out how you drew those pictures. It was so interesting read this. You should be proud.

    indiraadams.wordpress.com

  318. hv u ever thought of applying at GQ? i just hv this feeling that they wld apprct ur writing style there…

  319. Reposted this on http://www.pixelsmithstudios.com with a backlink to this article. Well done, it made me laugh and made me reflect on my pretty useless skills as a photographer because “everybody can take photos” pff.

    Good luck!

  320. Cool. Your very fisrt post and you are on FP with hits and followers from around the globe. Great start. Congratulations!!!!
    An entertaining post. The narration and the comics are amazing.
    I dont have any degrees in English and I always wished I had one. I am sure you would be happy for doing what you loved…. Wish you all the very best!!!! 🙂

  321. Choccat

    Thank you for your very entertaining post! May I also say congratulations on getting your first post into Freshly Pressed, that is quite an achievement in itself.

    You are young, with your your life ahead of you, and obviously a talented writer, I am sure a great future awaits you.

    Keep blogging and Good Luck.

  322. Pingback: Funny Post! « Beyond Assumptions

  323. TheChronicR

    That was just so amazing and hilarious at the same time. I mean, amazing and astonishing how you got on Freshly Pressed with your first post… Congratulations! And no doubt the post itself was worth it. I genuinely loved it and really hope you blog more. Best of luck.

  324. Geez! I guess that’s what good writing looks like. And the illustrations were quite handy too! – not to mention the random references to things only English majors would know, right?
    Thanks for sharing, seems we’re in the same boat though I’m a Psych major… yeah, it’s even more depressing.

  325. HayleyBee

    I too have an English and Creative Writing degree… i am unemployed and feel your pain. Congrats on your first post being so successful 🙂

  326. I, too, am an English major. When someone asks me, “What do you do with an English major?”, My reply is, “Make fun of Philosophy majors!”

    • Haha. Genius. I’m going to start using that…and then credit you. I wonder if that will make the situation awkward.

      “Did you come up with that?”
      “No, it was ForTheFisherman.”
      “Huh?”

  327. You are no IT engineer, but you can surely write in English… Nice post!
    PS. Guilty as charged: English major, too! 😉

  328. Pingback: Oops, I Got an English Degree! | Word Press Website Developer | Online Marketing - SEO - Organic Search Traffic | Wordpress Specialists

  329. BoubieD

    Ah, the AvenueQ blues.

  330. Congrats on making the freshly pressed…and on your first post. Impressive! I think you’ve found your reasonably ludicrous virtual calling. And if this blooging, strike that, blogging gig doesn’t work out, there’s always the unpaid internship. All kidding aside, an English major can do darn near anything – never forget that!

    Cheers and Good Luck!

  331. Leo

    Amazing! Love the writing, laughed out loud at the drawings, sympathize with the sentiment, although I’m not an English major.

    Hope this gets as big as it deserves to be!

  332. Morning is a horrible way to start of the day! Great illustrations also and have you read Swans Song? It has awesomely horrid post-apocalyptic scenarios. Cheers!

  333. Your first post?! AMAZING! I can sympathise…I’m currently a mature-aged student (although, how mature I am is debatable) in my final year of a journalism degree. It’s time to start rustling up some work experience and thinking about my future career prospects but I feel ‘nanny’, ‘hotel receptionist’ and ‘office monkey who can type 85wpm’ aren’t exactly the skill-set future employers are looking for! Keep up the writing – I’ll be subscribing for sure 🙂

  334. Well even if you end up failing completely at life, at least you’ve written a hilarious blog! I’ll be sure to read this rise to stardom. As a writer myself, I understand that sometimes… it doesn’t matter how much you achieve, you’ll never be as successful as your future-doctor brother? Like, publish books, poetry, short stories… write for a magazine… write a blog… but for some reason, parents and women really like doctors. I don’t really understand it. I mean… I write POETRY!

  335. Ah, I can relate to this all too much. Not only was I an English major in undergrad, I also, for some reason, went to grad school for Creative Writing. And while all my friends have fulfilling jobs in the city, I have a horrid day job that’s inspired me to take up blogging so I can cleanse my soul each day after work… Anyhow, nice post!

  336. This blog really struck my perception on the power of blogging and you are so good in writing. I wish I become as good as you even though I am not taking an English degree, because I can use it in the near future. God will bless you!~

  337. MizB

    Oh, please tell me it isn’t really true?! Is an English Major really “useless”? I have plans to go back to school to get mine, then work with books — somehow — but now I’m hesitating. I know bookstores are going the way of cavemen, but I thought an English degree would be very multi-purpose (could Write, work in a bookstore/library, teach, edit/proofread, etc).

    (A disillusioned) MizB
    <

  338. LMAO. I LOVED your post. The pictures were exceptional and the wording, utter perfection. I have joined your blog like MANY others and I can’t wait to hear more. How you will make money off of this, I am not quite sure, but I can tell you that at some point I hope someone notices your abilities. You can write in a humor column somewhere with your skills. I wish I knew how to get your name out to those people. But it will happen. Just be patient.

    Congrats on Freshly Pressed. So deserved. Good luck.

  339. Don’t underestimate how useful it is to be able to write. A lot of people don’t know how.

    Have you considered work as an editor or proofreader of some kind? What about journalism or public relations? Or teaching?

    There are lots of things you can do. In the world of work, degrees may open doors, but it’s the decisions you make post-degree that really count.

  340. Missjlouise

    Your first post has been Freshly Pressed

    WOW!?!

  341. See? You’re Internet famous already! Let that laziness and disdain for boring everyday work er… intellectual curiosity for interesting life adventures be your driving force. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed – right out of the starting gate!

  342. hahahah i wish you luck, and hoping you get noticed (seems that way have you seen how tiny the little scroller box down the side is > ) Ive just started an English lit and creative writing degree i need hope !

  343. I too am an English major pursuing a Master’s degree and will finish next summer. Your post is funny and well-written, but I don’t like your attitude. Come on, I at least did more at uni than just write 8 pages about oedipus complexes. I think I have learn a lot during my five years of study and I wouldn’t want it any other way. But you can’t expect the world to be waiting for you, you have to be willing to acquire the skills you lack and have some patience. In our field, it’s normal to take one or two years after graduation before you find a proper job. If your parents were wealthy enough to send you to Stanford, they sure should be wealthy enough to support you a little longer.
    I live in Germany, so perhaps the situation is a little different here, but still things will get better for you eventually, I’m sure.

  344. suzymarie56

    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed, I am now following your blog. I can totally empathise with you, I did a degree in Sociology and an M.A. in Women’s Studies, and similarly to yourself, I have not one shred of experience. Not only that but I’m overqualified for more menial jobs so I can’t get any of those either! I hope you find something soon, there’s hope for us yet I’m sure.

  345. Randy Kaw

    I can totally relate! Awesome job; first post with hundreds of followers!

  346. I graduated with an English degree and decided to be a teacher. After two years of that, I moved abroad and came to the exact same realizations you have. So, I now run a blog and hope to find a job with my skill set (no more teaching…ever). You are not alone! And don’t worry, I didn’t miss the Quixote reference. 🙂

  347. English Majors everywhere feel your pain. My college roommate and I both majored in English, and now we work for the same company wondering why nobody ever told us that THIS was going to be as good as it got for us. I did try to find jobs as a poet or proofreader, but Pittsburgh doesn’t have a big market for those things I guess!

    p.s. congrats on being freshly pressed!

  348. thegrammaniac

    I LOVE this article! I spent five years in college working toward an English degree and, afterward, came to a realization much like yours. So what did I do? I enrolled to go back and pursue a SECOND degree in English. Yeah, I belong in a loony bin.

  349. Congratulations on making it to ‘Freshly Pressed’ on your very first post! Kudos for writing a very funny and well thought out post.

    I majored in Anthropology. I cannot say that it’s any better than majoring in English. By the way, I actually wanted to major in English but fate intervened. I enjoyed studying Anthropology. It certainly matched my outlook on life and my spirit. Getting a job was another kettle of fish altogether!

    This year I joined as a teacher at a university. I do enjoy teaching but it’s not all fun and games. Right now I am supposed to be grading some papers on what culture is, how we are programmed to learn our culture; etc, etc. But I am avoiding that and browsing the net and reading random blog posts.

  350. Congratulations on your “freshly pressed” status! I, too, understand your pain. I am 45 and finished college for the first time in my life at 43 with a degree in Secondary English Education. I taught high school for 2 years, and in that time painfully discovered that the world of education is not the hotbed of idealism that I thought it would be. It turns out that education is no less corrupt than politics; I have seen some unthinkable things in the public school system. I left and discovered, via Neal Boortz actually, that I basically have a worthless degree. “Sucks for you!” he said. Great.

    I was raised to believe, by my working-class parents, that success meant finding a job with insurance benefits, and I bought into that ideal. After 45 years of life experience, my beliefs have changed. At my age, I have nothing left to lose; a job with insurance benefits and a secure retirement package are not good enough for me anymore. Those things trap me in a work-and-spend cycle. I want to create my own income! I want to be financially independent and self-reliant! I want to pay off my house! What I want more than anything is to teach by example that financial success is not determined by others, it is determined by the Self — that part of me that intuits what I need and whispers it to me when I open myself up to hear it.

  351. You don’t know how cool it is to click on a link from the WordPress homepage and be reading a funny post which for some weird reason seems to remind you of a person from summer camp a year ago and then think, hey, this person went to Stanford too, what a coinkydink, and read on and see RUSS NICKEL: ZOMBIE HUNTER and realise that IT WAS THE PERSON FROM SUMMER CAMP A YEAR AGO! Hahaha. This is Sofie. Remember me?

  352. Maja

    Tell me about it-Italian major here :S

  353. Cracked me up!

    So much in there that strikes right at home, me being a writer-in-the-making myself! (or so I tell myself I am anyway…)

    Glad you decided not to give up on this, love the illustrations and your humour man, really.

    Cheers…

  354. Holy crap.

    I just became your 514th subscriber, and you only have one post on here.

    (Pssst!…I think that means people like you!)

    Lookin’ forward to more.

  355. I do some blogging but I am retired. My approach to education was strictly vocational with a BS Electrical Engineering and an MBA. I have been told by a Chancellor of a major university that there is a Liberal Arts route to education but it usually leads ultimately to a professional school i.e. Lawyer or Doctor. Academic tenure is reserved for the well-connected few and is in chronic decline.
    Unless you are born of the privileged Elite you are destined to become a member of the Working Class (hourly, salaried, employed or unemployed) since the so-called Middle Class is dead. Blogging is OK but also learn a trade.

  356. Love this post, did you illustrate youself, i think you’ll do just fine. and welcome to wordpress 🙂

  357. i’m betting all your likes and responses are from english majors. i’m blogging myself in the form of my poetry, what a pointless endeavor that is right?

  358. mikeoverdrive

    Excellent post.

    I’m a 36yr old “CompSci” guy who is now a part-timer in grad school doing a degree that has nothing to do with CompSci. Jobs are overrated. There are a myriad of ways to support yourself, and in my case, my wife and I. Working for “the man” is just an easy cop-out. Do what you love and don’t ever retire from it.

  359. A wonderfully refreshing morning read… thanks! 🙂

  360. itsokaytorant

    This had me laughing! I have a degree with nursing and now I’m having a handful of regrets why in the world did I choose this course, should have taken up a degree in English instead. You sounded in disarray but with this first post of yours, I;’m sure you’ll gonna be a big hit, thy soonest! Keep up the work! I’m inspired with this! 🙂

  361. mahoganie

    LOL I feel this way about my journalism degree and living in DC where it’s hella competitive here!!!! Good Luck to you!

  362. Bwaaa ha ha! The evil English Degree strikes again!

    But seriously, it’s a pretty versatile degree. Sales and marketing may be for you! (I know a guy who got into the insurance business and made a ton of money, and he was an English major). There are a lot of things you can do with that piece of paper. You just have to find the one you enjoy doing.

  363. I, too, have an English degree! And yes, it really was about avoiding real work. I always thought my major was soooo much better than everyone else’s major. (pshhh finals week? I think I might have had ONE final. In Spanish class). And (gasp!) I actually found a professional job with my degree even though it took me 6 months. I’m totally going to follow your blog and add to your “Web-lebrity” status. Good Luck!

  364. cmccain

    Great post! Funny…and great that you followed your passion…yet another “portrait of an artist.” Just finished teaching Oedipus …for the 30th year…explaining why my 3- books-in-the works are perpetually trapped beneath the bell jar. I’m too buried under essays to grade, some which tempt me to stab out my eyes. “Still I rise”….to blog, to free lance for magazines/online publications, to design tee shirts that promote reading and send books to kids in Ecuador. Problem is…I don’t have enough time to read. Reading was why I majored in English in the first place. http://www.classiccoup.blogspot.com

  365. Lulu

    I got an English degree as well. Sadly, I moved to a country which does not accept my teaching degree. So, I need to start from the beginning if ever I want to teach English in the country where all movies are dubbed into the language I don’t understand that much yet.

  366. caroerasmus

    Why, hello to you! As a fellow newbie Blogger, love your page. I’m pressing “subscribe” as soon as I’m done typing :).

    Funny to encounter someone so similar yet so different – like you, my degree of desire was English. My parents, however, were of the “study-something-sensible” variety and hence I ended up – but didn’t stay – in the fascinating lecture halls of dentistry. Haha.

    Have a look at my first post, will ya? Wannabe-big writers unite!

  367. Well if you come to any more brilliant conclusions about what step to take next, let me know!! Funny and true. Congratulations, love it.

  368. Can anyone, enforcement agency or otherwise, help us rid the city of Catlettsburg, (Boyd County) Kentucky of 58 years of continuous bootlegging, bookmaking and other forms of outlawry??This 58 year dynasty of corruption is located 81 measured feet from city hall. Court records reveal the newly appointed City Mayor is a member of the bootlegging lodge, a city councilman immediately prior to his mayoral appointment and rum runner/contraband hawler for years. The 58 year bootlegging/bookmaking, etc., is also located only two city blocks from the Commonwealth Attorney, the County Att’y, two district courts, two circuit courts, the county sheriff and county jail.

    • By Hercules, he’s right! This is the most important issue of our times, and only 81 MEASURED feet from city hall. Let us all band together to make a difference in Cowsburg!

  369. Love this! I have an English degree as well and found myself working in IT. Somehow it seems to work.

  370. Love this! Can’t wait for more. The artwork was fantastic, as well! 🙂

    http://adventuresofabrowngirl.wordpress.com/

  371. It’s no wonder you got an English degree. Love your style. Making the world laugh is certainly not a waste of a life. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine. Thanks for the jump-start on my day.

  372. Hey, it;s not too bad after all. You’re right, at least you have something to do which is worthwhile. Who knows the Blogosphere is the place where you could really be famous. There is no place on earth or certain job out there that we cannot make a stand and be one of the best. As long as we have the faith and courage to push ourselves to the limits. Good read. Keep it up!

  373. y

    Funny post. 🙂 Now you are on Freshly Pressed, tell your parents you are really famous now – show them the stats and the comments! 🙂
    I’m a journalism major, but didn’t pursue a career in writing too. I’m a QA Software Engineer right now. LOL. Yup, I work in a software company. LOL But I write (blog) to still enjoy my first love – writing. 🙂

  374. Your first blog post and it got featured on Freshly Pressed! Congratulations! You definitely have a talent for writing. I’m sure you’ll be vacationing in your lunar mansion very soon 🙂

  375. scrounger1984

    “My parents, idealistic saps that they are, actually encouraged me towards this! They said, “Russ, you can do anything if you put your mind to it!” Can you believe that?”

    My parents are guilty of this too.

  376. Hi! And look – you got Freshly Pressed – not bad work!
    I also have an English degree and also chose to combat my lack of life knowledge/skills with blogging. Minus the pictures, though, which is a shame. I look forward to seeing more – and if you want to know how another Oops! English graduate gets on, visit my blog!

  377. scrounger1984

    “My parents, idealistic saps that they are, actually encouraged me towards this! They said, “Russ, you can do anything if you put your mind to it!” Can you believe that?”

    My parents are guilty of this too. I commiserate.

  378. As a fellow English major who took 2 years after graduation to figure out a path in life (and it’s still not a path that makes money), I feel your pain. Good luck on being Internet famous, you seem to have a good start.

  379. sarahpalma

    I can totally identify with this. I studied theater about 9 years ago, but didn’t end up pursuing theater as a career very much, and also didn’t finish my BFA at that time either. Recently I went back to school to finish up my last few classes to complete my degree, and I’d like to eventually write a novel, but I can’t help but think, why the h did I go back to school again? For a BFA at that? Yeah, I have no idea what to do with it…

  380. nicotarquinio

    Great post. Like probably just about every other commenter here, I’m in the same boat. Which is full of holes and needs to be drained of water soon if we’re to survive the real world.

    Keep it up!

  381. Based on your introductory story and illustrations, I’ve got a fancy that you might be a decent writer. Looking forward to your upcoming stories and glad to see that English teachers still teach creativity in them college walls. Congrats! You’re an AUTHOR!

  382. Adam Gonnerman

    Dude, I did worse. I got a Bachelor of Ministry (as in “Christian Ministry”) from a high-priced private university. The first several years after graduation were a struggle, especially after I discovered I can’t stand parish ministry. On track now, but what a mess.

    Great post, btw!

  383. digitaljoel

    I’m one of those annoying computer science majors and I still found this post very entertaining. I’ve been blogging for a couple years (I guarantee nothing that you would find interesting) and yours if the first I found good enough to subscribe to. Congratulations on freshly pressed, and don’t let the pressure of knowing how high the expectations are for the next entry get to you 😉

  384. Haha! What a great intro to your new blog! I have a feeling you’re going to do well on this quest. Good luck!

    http://tehcatspajamas.wordpress.com/

  385. Love this blog! I will definitely be following! I have a French degree. You might think that would be more useful than an English degree being that it’s a second language and crap but that only works if you keep up the language which sadly, I didn’t really. So basically, I’m in the same boat as you. You should get a job at a library! That’s where I work and these people love reading fanatics! 😉

  386. gwendolynk8

    Hahaha. I will have to show this to my boyfriend. He’s 3/4 of the way done with an English degree

  387. Mr. D'

    This blogs a hit. You got more comments on this one thread then I’ve gotten in my entire blogging career. (Haha)

  388. I wish I could “like” you, but I can’t because it’s just not fair. I write a blog for six months and have 12 hits, you write for one day and get Fresh Pressed…. Too bad it’s actually humorous and enjoyable to read! Congrats. I’ll get over myself now.

  389. I, too, spent four years getting an English degree. While having a BA in English actually makes your hireable in a wide variety of fields, I find myself wishing I had studied a trade. Something like nursing or radiology would allow me to be making a lot more than I am in the somewhat failing newspaper industry. I guess there’s always the option of going back to school, but with student loans already, do I really want to add onto that?

  390. Some appraisals;
    – I think the writing is coming along nicely 🙂
    – I did a science degree and then studied finance, and I also blame my parents for lack of direction and have decided the internet should employ me too (have you seen some of the cretins out here?)
    – You clearly have well-rounded IT skills, without being a computing grad (i.e. graphics, blogging, I’m sure you can add knowledge of social networks… which combined add up to heady things like Copywriter and more)
    – If they don’t understand the use of an expertise in potential post-apocalyptic scenarios, do you really want to work for them?
    Best of luck anyway, keep up the good ‘work’!

  391. Spelling Nazi

    “Sure, living in San Luis Obispo is nice, but it’s no the moon”
    NOT.

  392. Mr. D'

    All you English Majors need to keep the faith. With a future approaching where the only words spoken between people is – Holy S-_t – Hey Dude – – you’ll be in great demand.

  393. Dollarside

    hahaha well written! looking towards for more posts!

  394. great 1st post! congrats! And waiting to read some more!!

  395. When I was an English major at a Business School, my mother couldn’t understand how this degree might be useful in life, except for maybe teaching. It has turned out to be extremely valuable as more and more people enter the workforce without knowing how to spell, have limited vocabulary and cannot write a simple memo. If your degree was worth your time, you also learned critical thinking skills and many other valuable transferable skills. It has made it possible for me to take my career in any direction I want. I would not say a degree in English was a waste of my time, but I am just speaking for myself. . . good luck! PS don’t’ check my grammar!!! LOL

  396. collegecookingchallenge

    This is great! I just graduated with an English degree too… and started blogging because this writing major gets way too bored at work.
    Good luck!
    http://officeafternoon.wordpress.com/

  397. I was in print journo for years and decided I better jump into the online writing world two years ago or be left behind. I’m much older than you but once I started treating it like a “real” job and not a hobby it took me less than a year to start earning decent money. I don’t mean money I can retire on mind you, but okay money. For me it all started with my blog because I didn’t know where else to start. Your blog is entertaining, funny and informative. You hit the nail on the head.

  398. Great writing and illustrations! You two make a great team!
    I got a business degree. I think your degree is more relevant.
    I look forward to next Tuesday!

  399. Made me laugh… good stuff! Keep it up, and your break will come!

  400. TOTALLY passing this onto my best friend. Makes me think of the first line of Avenue Q: “What do you do with a BA in English?”

  401. Haha, awesome post! Really enjoyed reading this! The illustrations made me smile. 😀 Congrats on being Pressed!

  402. “On the web, everyone can put themselves up for examination, and if they’re pretty or funny or ugly enough, never have to do any real work. And in the end, isn’t avoiding real work what being an English major is all about?”

    You, are super-cool. And being an english major myself, I sincerely hope and foolishly dream that being clever and witty is what will qualify me — not, necessarily, being ugly. Or smelly.

    Best wishes! You should try the “Novel in November” deal this year.. it’s an opportunity to get your name out there, your words, your genius. I’m going to give it a hearty try myself (fully realizing that I’m an incompetent amateur, doing this moreso for fun than professional and financial reasons).

    Aun Aqui

  403. Jedidiah

    Wow, I had to scroll down a lot to find that Reply box! This was an awesome post and so so true. When that arm came out of the computer to hit you, I nearly spilled my coffee. 😀 Subscribed!

  404. meekthegeek

    Will you marry me?

    I’m already married, so I guess that’s out, but seriously, take out the bit about the fraternity and this could be me.

    See you when the zombies come.

  405. I love your article. Great title and theme. Humor is always appealing. Waiting for more articles.

  406. I fuckin loved this. Thanks for writing ! Welcome to the blogging world.

  407. I would exchange my 5 years degree in Law with yours in English…
    You’re lucky to have studied the subject you love and I hope you’ll have a lot of success or at least you will enjoy and love your work, here on Earth or up there on the Moon.

  408. Loved it… the humor and the artwork. Having just started my own blog a week ago, I wish you the best of luck!

  409. I have a degree in English, too. I think procrastinating and promising ourselves we’ll be billion-dollar authors one day is something all English majors are guilty of.

    Glad to see you on Freshly Pressed, and thank for making me laugh this morning 🙂

  410. Looks like wordpress has granted your wish! FP on the first post 🙂
    Love the sketches

  411. Russ, I had to open a link to your gravatar in a separate tab, and kept returning to it to take a look at this funny guy every time I read something funny, including the ‘People need my skills?! This is great news!’ Great post. Loved the illustrations, Sam. The moon girls made me laugh. Good luck becoming ‘weblebrities’ and congs on the FP.

  412. Pfft! My English degree was the most expensive useless item I have ever purchased. Second only to my shake weight.

  413. “…but now I was starting to realize that without an outside force giving me a series of easily attainable goals…”

    Welcome to the wacky new world of non-linear life choices. You have paid your money for a ticket into an industrial-era position that probably doesn’t exist. You’re on the right track though—become your own job…

  414. I don’t know if I want to hear this…my daughter is an English major! She is planning on becoming a high school English teacher, so at least there is a plan! I think she is just part of a world wide plot to perpetuate the English major. The English major becomes a teacher and talks other kids into becoming an English major…..

  415. immigrantgirl1026

    I love it!!! Love the comics!!! Funny thing I can’t wait to hear more going in to college and English major was a possibility for me…

  416. haha nice post. Good luck with your future. I hope you’ll find something that makes you happy. Your first post is off to a great start!

  417. This is very clever and quite funny and it looks like you are doing well, considering I have been blogging for over two years and have never gotten nearly this many comments on a post!

    Best of luck, it is a rough world out there. I too majored in English (and Art History) and then got my Master’s (in Art History) so I understand that whole realization about “no skills” that happens when you hit the real world. Also, that whole self loathing thing. It will get better.

    I look forward to reading your work!

  418. haha, funny stuff! I could have used an English major friend when I was in college, some 4yrs ago, my grammar wasn’t the best, I concentrated on my design and was completely oblivious to the written word. Anyways, when I was in school and people had asked me, “What are you going to do after college?” I said I was going to art school to become a graphic designer, so you can imagine how many people put down my dreams saying an art degree will get me nowhere and that I would be broke. Well, I beg to differ! I make pretty decent money as a crystal concept designer & I make a decent amount of money freelancing.

    Not everyone can get paid for what they love, I just so happen to be one of those lucky ones who gets paid to draw and color!!

    You will find your “talent” one day, something that sparks you…but in the meantime, you made me laugh !!

  419. Well played, sir. I switched my major from art to a double in history and political science. All terrible moves.

  420. Welcome to the club of recovering English majors!

  421. I’ve never scrolled down so much in my entire life as I did reading this post’s comments. At some point after I commented I refreshed the page only to find more comments after mine! Way to go, dudes.

  422. Damnd

    Kia ora.

    I too am an English degree holder. And have I got wilder dreams…Writing a novel in the Maori language, for instance.

  423. It’s an interesting observation. I get new cars every week which I thought was a good enough reward.

  424. Looks like you are off to a great start with 627 followers! Best of luck!

  425. Mehdi

    I just found your blog on the opening page of wordpress before I logged in to my account, and don’t worry if you don’t or can’t read mine, because it’s written in a different language – particularly, English. I came to the US a little bit more than a year ago pursuing my masters degree in mechanical engineering and well, that’s too long a story to say and I don’t want to go astray from commenting on your blog.
    It seems this is your first post on this blog and how surprised would you get to get a comment from a non-English speaking person? I liked your writing skill. I did and I mean it. Made me go through all of it, cause I started learning English when I was 12 because my parents thought I would need it in the future and well, it’s paying me off now, all those nights sitting in classes while my buddies were having fun. So much paying me off that many people couldn’t believe that I had never been to the US before or they didn’t speak English where I am from!
    Dude, at least you have followed a dream of yours and you should be proud of it. I know a ton of people who have very big ambitions, but are too lazy to move a step away from putting their ideas on paper to really doing it. You might want to apply for journals and write for them. Define a big dream for yourself and start with doing small things. You’ll be seen and you’ll become a millionaire. Promise!

  426. Woah there! Not only are you Freshly Pressed on your first post, but it seems that in the process you have somehiow inadvertently exposed WordPress for what it really is – AA for English grads! Well, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! I’m an English Grad too!
    I can totally relate to your motivation for starting this (most fantastic) blog. I too had an urge to put to good use the creativity and experience that my degree provided. Looks like you’ve had an amazing response – and a few job offers in here, too – congrats! Just take my advice and don’t go into teaching. It may be for “those that can”… but as for “those that wish to retain their sanity,” they find some other job!
    Good luck – I’ll be following!

    http://theuphillstruggle.wordpress.com/

    • Haha you’re totally right. I never realized how many of us poor English addicts there are here on the interweb. I guess I’m happy to host the support group, as long as there’s free hors d’oeuvres or something.

  427. Carien Smit

    Looooove your post.Love the animations too.c

  428. Great post!! I understand your premise, but what else is there to separate us from the animals if we can’t express ourselves through the majesty of the written word? I’ll look forward to your future posts!

  429. What I can relate to even more than your musing about the benefit –or lack thereof–in purusing an English degree is this:
    “…then write an eight page treatise on the main character’s Oedipus complex.”
    This totally cracked me up. In the realm of the study of English literature all the protaganists have an Oedipus complex and all the authors are homosexual.

    http://eccentricallysimple.wordpress.com/
    http://sherriecork.wordpress.com/

  430. Most people get a job unrelated to their degree. So I kind of wish I had just followed my english major dreams instead of taking the practical route. Great post! Looove the illustrations.

  431. JSD

    First blog post! Freshly pressed! Great art work! Hilariously funny! You’re destined for great things!!

  432. Aaron

    The first post is easy for bloggers. The next hundred are the tough ones

  433. mmmmhmmmm…..and i’m going for my m.a. in english. uselessness squared!
    actually i don’t believe that; it’s just fun to say, gets me off the hook for not having much of a ‘career’.
    anyway, you’ll be glad in about ten years when anyone under 30, including–even perhaps especially–native speakers can no longer write the english language. english teachers’ll be in demand then, you betcha! …i think….

  434. hey come on, who says you can’t get a job with an english major? it just probably won’t have anything to do with reading and writing, and everything to do with document preparation and data entry. like my job.
    but seriously, very witty post. it’s the kind of thing i could dig on my blog, meganstuartsnotebook.wordpress.com, which is focused on aspiring writers of the college and recent college grad demographics, and then some, dealing with the pressures of being on the hunt for job and monies in this modern world. my most recent post could actually almost be a response to this post (weird, since i hadn’t read this post yet). it’s about the value of a college degree (specifically in English, being that i’m gearing towards writers), even if you know for a fact that you’re going to be a best-selling author and you don’t NEED college. *scoffs*
    anyway, thanks for the post. totally get everything you said.

  435. lollym

    Looks like your “first attempt” was a success! 🙂

  436. Pingback: An open letter to those who would belittle studies within the liberal arts « Vamiliar

  437. pohweeboon

    Ridiculously funny!

  438. K How

    Hahaha! Just this morning I told a co-worker that I was considering changing my degree to English or Journalism. How silly of me. I’ll stick with Graphic Design and start my own business just like the other 5 million graphic designers out there. 😀
    Oh… wait…

  439. Lol! I found myself smiling along

  440. Understand completely. I myself have two bachelor’s and a master’s degree all which equate to having no skills. I too decided that blogging may be my way to success or at least to be noticed. Only time will tell. Good luck to you!

    -A Random Blog Reader
    Author
    http://20somethingstruggle.com

  441. Nice, the comics are really cute, not in a prissy way though. Kind of reminds me of Fallout. This post makes me feel like all of my posts on my Blog are inadequate. I don’t really think out my posts all that well, I am not a big fan of English and the magic of writing. I myself am planning on majoring in computer science so I can make video games that tell stories interactively. Anyways, my post are short and pretty much on whatever is on my mind at the time. One might ask, what is on the mind of a lonely 19 year old geek? No, its not as dirty as you think, but more depressing. I could really use some feedback from some anonymous confidants.

    Please and Thank you,
    Harry Bayley

    P.S. Sorry I got a little sidetracked and talked pretty much only about my blog. I love this, and it looks really nice. Brought me to the page and I will probably follow you, lets see what you got!

  442. Lol! I was going to major in English because I wanted to be a writer. I couldn’t imagine anything more fun than reading Shakespeare for grades. My Dad, an English major himself, forbade it! Lol!

    I ended up doing Electrical/Electronics Engineering. I have a job but I still write under the cover of night. Guess my Dad knew what he was talking about.

  443. I, for one, am extremely glad you decided to follow your dreams as it has made you a wonderful writer.

    I will definitely be following this blog.

  444. I have a philosophy degree, which gets the same reaction from employers as English does. You should support the publishing industry and work in a bookshop. With your knowledge of literature, you will be the top sales man!

  445. daitexas

    Very funny, and I love the illustrations too. Did you do them yourself? As the owner of a similarly worthless degree, I can relate to your experience entirely. Congratulations on being freshly pressed on your very first blog, it leads me to suspect you had a very cunning plan coming into this and that we’ll soon see you well on your way to making some money out of it all. Either that, or you’ve set the bar excessively high for yourself… Either way, I look forward to reading some of your common posts and steal whatever tips I learn to pursuing the dream myself. Best of luck to you!

  446. YES! I love it. And this is exactly what I feel like right now.

  447. vegburger

    Check out this radio link called Who Needs An English Major?
    http://americanradioworks.publicradio.org/features/tomorrows-college/

  448. Why don’t you just teach English? All of the English teachers I know have English degrees. IT’S CRAZY RIGHT?!?!?! (no emotions in messages just know that i was being silly not condescending no flame wars here. lol)

  449. abhishek

    A fab start! Keep it up 🙂

  450. That’s the story of my life, man… LOL. In fact, it was insidiously funny how our lives are one in the same. Our childhood dreams ended us- or perhaps made us… We’ll see.

    By the quality of this blog, however, I can see it easily having made you.

  451. Pingback: Sharing Saturday-October 8, 2011 (Guilty Pleasures Edition!) « Christy Farmer

  452. Haha, oops, I’ve landed in your situation as well. Keep on truckin’.

  453. well enough you didn’t landed on wrong ground . enjoy your writing people will enjoy you. love this post.
    and your drawing too especially the resume.
    lol

  454. Chris W.

    I too woke up one day having realized that I have an English degree, and you summed up the situation perfectly. With your humor, writing, and illustrations I can see you could do well here. Good luck!

  455. danny

    A good sense of humor, cheers.

  456. Well this is fantastic.

    Though it hasn’t really given me hope for my Arts degree, I’m sure this post is exponentially more entertaining than anything a chemistry major could churn out.

    Props buddy.

  457. I got my degree my history with a minor in classical studies. I stand and applaud you. Bravo!! Bravo!!

  458. English was my degree too. What does it all mean??? Who the f— knows. What does it do for you? I don’t know. Nice blog. I hope mine does well too.

  459. realanonymousgirl2011

    Nice! I feel the same way. Too bad the arts don’t pay as much as they should on a 9-5 basis. Keep at it, it’ll work out!

  460. AnnoyingEnglishProf

    Wonderful blog, my friend. Keep in mind that Englishing is an addiction that only gets worse with time. I went to three different schools pursuing English, and the last one finally gave me a PhD and begged me, “Please go away.” So I got a job at a small, liberal arts college (yes, even worse) and found that having students who are equally enamored of Englishing only makes Englishing more irresistible. Eventually, I was tenured and I’m now the chair of an actual English department–and working collaboratively with other addicts does not help things. Once upon a time, I would have said my career was my perfect dream, but it turns out that the college expects me to work (no, I’m not kidding)–it interferes with my television watching, my compulsive reading of novels I’ll never teach, my false starts at excellent prose destined to Make The World A Better Place, and my well-developed ability to be lazy.

    So be careful. When graduate school knocks at your door and tries to lure you in with beautiful prose, save yourself: RUN!

    🙂

  461. I love the resume! Hah!! Nice work. And really, you’ll probably be just fine with the English degree. I got a TEACHING degree. So. I sort of feel your pain….but I’m sure we’ll both be ok in the long run 🙂

  462. rizness

    haha good one. i myself wish to earn a degree in english one day, but just as a part time thingy

  463. You have an amazing blog going already. It seems to be a cleaner combination of http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ and http://theoatmeal.com/ both of which are quite comical and have awesome pictures (and both are publishing books about their blogs). I can’t wait to see your next post and hope you later write one to turn into poster form to sell to your future fans.

  464. You should take part in a contest for the most effective blogs on the web. I’ll advocate this site!

  465. My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!

  466. I remember during school I never did any work experience, so struggled to even get a part time retail job.
    Working from home seems the best option for almost all fields of work where it
    s possible as it saves a lot of money.
    Good luck making your millions 🙂

  467. not everything of worth have a monetary value. fulfillment can’t be measured in dollars.although for some money is their primary focus. All the best fellow english major…

  468. kat

    Oh my gosh hahah! 🙂

  469. Oh my gosh I love this. Hilarious. My friends in college who were all Humanities majors all pretty much say the same thing, one of the most useless degrees ever.

  470. This was hilarious. I couldn’t help but laugh. I know I have plenty of “skills” from my English major, but they never seem as important or as critical as my friends skills. I’m bumbling around, they’re creating video games.

  471. Ha! Really great blog entry here 😀 Loved the images and the story. I began singing the song “what do you do with a BA in English?” from Avenue Q in my head!

    Blogging’s a great idea to try. Bloggers are this generation’s journalists. So I’m led to believe. Good luck with the blog 🙂

  472. Fellow English major here. I’ve totally subscribed to your blog; I can’t wait to see what happens next.

  473. Pingback: Useful Fridays: Meh « Why Can't I Find a Job?

  474. I suspect you will do just fine on the internet. Between freelance content writing and an interesting and funny blog (which you have) there is lots of money to be made on the internet
    Good Luck

  475. Pingback: Major-ly Useless « The Files of a Logophile

  476. Haha! Oh boy, I wish I had this kind of blog to read BEFORE I signed away 4 years of my life to English Lit. The resume with pictures on it cracked me up. Awesome post!

  477. Your in good company and only us English majors will agree that your degree is not worthless. I’m a double major English and Sociology with a great deal of work experience behind me. After graduating, while interviewing for a job earning less than what I’ve earned since the 1980’s the human resource representative asks me “but, can you write?”

  478. I want to be real, even living on internet. “multi-billion-dollar” person… seems good, I’ll try it, thanks for the tip

    “modern-day gladiatorial ring” #fantastic

  479. You are not alone! I, too, am quixotic and pursued a degree in English despite everyone’s warnings that it would lead to nowhere. Two years later, I am still stuck in that limbo between too much education for the jobs I can get and not enough experience for the jobs I really want. So what is one to do? Keep a blog!

    “The sword never blunted the pen, nor the pen the sword.” ~Don Quixote

  480. Pingback: Who’s Driving This Thing, Anyway? « 100 things 100 days

  481. Hahaha, good stuff, man. I was laughing from start to finish!

    I also feel like I wasted my time on my major, but the difference is, I didn’t like it, and I was forced into it by my parents who at that time, didn’t know any better (but we’re all good now). I took up computer science haha. I did hardcore math and coding. I left college with practical skills that could have made me a gazillionaire by now. For a while, I worked with a couple of major computer companies. But somehow, I ended up as a writer working with people who have English degrees, and now I’m a blogger too. No regrets at how it all turned out, though. 🙂

    Keep on writing. Maybe you’ll get a column or something in a major broadsheet in the future!

  482. I have an English degree too. AND a minor in Russian. I am hoping either Walgreen’s or Hope Depot will call me back for a second interview…

  483. I have a mathematics degree and feel the same way. Even though knowing proofs isn’t that marketable of a skill (unless you are really good!), I enjoy learning it. I hope that someone may notice me one day, if I just keep on enjoying math (even though my resume, other than my teaching experience, is completely useless in the real world).

    I enjoy your blog very much and hope you keep up the good articles!

    -Math Ninja

  484. I can completely identify with your revelations upon taking time to “find yourself.” I did that, felt crushed by the lack of clear goal-oriented direction, and now I’m going around the entire planet overland because at least “head east slowly” is self-instructive. Good post!

  485. Robyn Sanders

    TRUTH. I’m getting my degree in Journalism with a Minor in English and random classes in Greek and Latin, so I can definitely empathize. Just wait. I have hopes that someday the world will realize its desperate need for well-read, cultured intellectuals with good grammar skills.

    • Whoa, I was planning to get a Journalism degree with a minor in English before I read this… Should I run in the opposite direction as fast as I can, or take small steps toward the goal of actually making money off of writing? I am a little concerned now.

  486. hey, you’re going to be fine. being an English major wasn’t that bad. You’ll definitely get a career in no time in Asia. Countries who are in need of English Teacher and qualified English professional. Or better yet. Just enhance what you have in here. You can advertise that you can do writings for them. You can get paid with that, besides writing in your blog.

    same i could say in posting ads in your blog. I am actually impressed by it. Sorry to the companies that didn’t hire you, but you can’t blame them. they have criteria. 🙂 so goodluck and keep blogging! 🙂

    from: http://thegreatwritingchallenge.blogspot.com

  487. Reblogged this on It's a Wonderful Life… and commented:
    This person’s blog is too true

  488. Being an English Lit major this hits home. Being out of school for two years and not finding a job in my field, so discouraging- I stopped trying and I stopped writing. Thankfully my husband convinced me to get back on track by starting a blog, just to get used to expressing myself again. You obviously don’t need any help in that department- great work with your words and your artwork!

  489. I’m so happy I found this blog today! I’m in the exact same situation, studied English, graduated, and have absolutely no prospects. No I don’t have any experience with ‘Online Marketing’ – I can give you a little speech on the dimensions of Fifties Feminist literature? No?

    I’m in Britain though, nice to know it’s the same on the other side of the pond. Kinda.

  490. I will be getting an English Degree…so aaaaaaaaahhhhhh..is this how it goes after that???

  491. Reblogged this on storiesofRYANlife and commented:
    for you (Will) to read. More reasons for you to start blogging 😛

  492. The professor teaching my web fundamentals class basically said that the Internet is the new resume. Potential employers will look for you on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and other big-name sites related to your area of expertise. You definitely have the right idea turning to the Internet to get your name out.

  493. I have a degree in Business Administration………….and trust me its equally bad! But i wish i could find as much humor in my degree as u did! 😀 loved the post!

  494. Your website is amazingly useful. Me and my husband really like the hard work you have put into this post. In fact, my daughter and I have also been producing a website covering exotic fruits. Your site’s theme is a great help for our own website. Keep up the good information! Looking forward to seeing more pages from you! I just added this site to my own favorites list. 🙂

  495. wow that carrot cake is making me hungry just by looking at it, i think i love food too much

  496. Wow fing the best corsets all made in the uk here the best underbust and over bust corsets all in the one online store

  497. Fantastic post and also very interesting thanks for sharing

  498. eoz

    Love it. I have taken twenty years to fulfill my dream of completing an English degree and it will serve no purpose other than it has taught me stuff I wanted to know. Never stop your education as it is the healthiest thing to do!

  499. Starr

    I happily stumbled upon this post, and it brought a smile to my face– finally relieving that perplexed look of whatdoIdonow?!? that I usually wear. A job well done! I wish you internet fame.

  500. Pingback: Sharing Saturday-October 8, 2011 (Guilty Pleasures Edition!) | Christy Farmer

  501. D3adlyG33k's Mistress

    As a fellow holder of a worthless $100,000 piece of paper (LOTS of student loan debt), I wish you luck and joy in your new career! There is something to be said for following your bliss…but there’s also something to be said for being able to pay the light bill XD

  502. a 21st century scribe

    I love this. That is exactly how I feel, too! This is very well written and hilarious, and it spoke to my heart. Well done.

  503. Pingback: Lab #1 Researching Topic/Brainstorming | Non-Fiction Writing

  504. Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the images on this blog loading?
    I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or
    if it’s the blog. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

  505. Russ, I love this!

    If you don’t mind me asking, where do you stand now, career-wise?

    • Robin!

      I’m about to receive my MFA in screenwriting (in just a month! Ack!).

      Then it’s off into the big, bad world to try to be a screenwriter. I’m so excited!

      • Russ!

        How’d you develop your nerves of nickel and finally decide to go for screenwriting? I gotta admit that I was thinking of going for a B.A. in English, but I finally decided to go back to studying Environmental Economics and working towards finding a career in marketing because the world is, indeed, big and bad (or at least it often is to English majors).

        Any chance that we’ll be successful, famous writers someday? Despite what the Bureau of Labor Statistics and my fellow economists may claim?

  506. Laura Kinkead

    I too was an English/Creative Writing major so this piece really spoke to my heart and made me laugh out loud. I remember what I was told years ago in a writing class I took and that was “A Writer Writes” every day. Does not matter what, just write. I have to agree with your parents and tell you, your degree was not a waste. You are talented.

  507. The Indecisive..."Go-getter"

    Dear “Oops I got an English degree”;
    YOU ARE HILARIOUS! Not to mention…A talented writer indeed.
    I recently became a college student again after (mumbling) years…Lol!
    Have no idea what to do with whatever remains of my brain cells. I love writing, however, I’ve been quite confused (for quite some time) as to how to go about pursuing an education to THAT end. At the advice of my Academic Advisor, I’m starting out with Gen-Ed courses. I kinda sorta really wanna be a nurse though…I think. (shrugs)

    Now, I do realize that I’m responding to a blog created in 2011?
    But ‘better late than never’, right? (Random thought: but then…what’s better than late?) Anywho….It is now Summer of 2014, and I’m wondering it I should just dive in my studies full-time. Whether it’s wise or not just doesn’t seem to concern me; & I’m too old to let it!

    Best wishes to you Oops!
    Regards,
    A Lady With A Plan…I think?
    🙂

  508. Reblogged this on The Curious Writer of Planet Cuckoo and commented:
    Couldn’t stop laughing or frowning throughout. What a sadly hysterical read for English majors like myself.

  509. My spouse and I stumbled over here by a different website and thought I
    might check things out. I like what I see so i am just following you.
    Look forward to finding out about your web page yet again.

  510. Reblogged this on Whitman's Barbaric Yawp… and commented:
    Great article on the pits – er – perks of having a Lit degree.

  511. That’s really interesting. thanks for that. Had a great laugh. Also love the graphics. Great job!!!

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