1. Write Posts in List Format and Bold Each List Item
- By splitting the post into easily digestible sections,
- you’ll be able to overcome
- the A.D.D. of America.
- The reading feels
- like you’re going
- much faster!
2. Link Back to Your Old Content!
- Examples: This link right here. Go ahead, click it.
3. Link to Other Content!
- Examples: I think that was enough examples.
4. Google Trends!
- Facebook stock is dropping? But Facebook is the next Google! Instagram is the next Apple!
5. Revealing Pictures of Female Video Game Characters!
6. Tag Overload!
- Examples: Barack Obama. Fire-Spitting Dinosaurs. Blake Lively Nude
- You could share it on Reddit too!
- Might as well click the stumbleupon button too. Do it! DO IT! Click every single button!
8. Be Freshly Pressed by WordPress
- Examples: This post, hopefully.
- Making it to the front page of Reddit is also acceptable and equally inscrutable.
9. Lie to Your Audience
And if you’re interested, check out our new webcomic: The Joy Cannon!