I have food poisoning. Which is all well and good except for the fact that it poisons not just my stomach, but my inspiration. As we all know, inspiration is the sous-chef of humor, and when the sous-chef eats a morsel of toxic orange chicken, the kitchen of hilarity is reduced to shambles, forced to serve second-rate blog dishes peppered with metaphoric excuses rather than jokes.
That’s why this week, instead of pulling the usual all-nighter to perfect something hilarious, we’re going to simply do a bit of housekeeping. I apologize for the lack of entertainment, but if you want a villain to blame, choose Panda Express.
Keep in mind that any laughter you may experience during this poison-addled post is purely incidental. However, if you need someone to lie on a couch moaning incessantly, or if by chance you have an excess of saltine crackers and no idea what to do with them, then I’m your man.
Now, onto the housekeeping. Firstly, we’ve won a few more awards over the past weeks, but until recently, I’ve been road tripping, and have had little time to consider addressing them in Thursday posts. Even squeaking out our usual Tuesday affair was a bit of a challenge, but at least I made friends with a lot of hotel night clerks who wondered why I was up until 6 a.m. in their lobbies.
Award Section of Post:
So long Middle School Bowling Champion medal. Move over Little League Sportsmanship trophy. There’s new kids on the block—even if they are inhuman, two-dimensional kids. That’s right; those new virtual children down the street are the Versatile, Liebster, and Kreativ Blog/ger Awards.
I’ve never felt so versatile, having received the award from both the hilarious Live Nerd Repeat and the alliterative Mommy’s Moments. And though I appreciate this symbol of approval, I think there’s been some sort of mistake. Reasonably Ludicrous isn’t particularly versatile. That word brings to mind images of a Swiss Army Knife or an Autobot, or maybe even Sandra Bullock that year she was in The Blind Side and All About Steve.
But so far all of our posts have been some sort of anecdotal story coupled with Sam’s art. Like a palm tree, we haven’t done a lot of branching out.
Then again, maybe I am versatile. I cooked some food one time, and I know how to skimboard. I can take care of cats reasonably well, and I’m pretty good at reading words. Maybe they’re not saying I’m versatile at blogging, but that, because of the stories I’ve told, they can tell I’m a blogger who is versatile: a versatile blogger!
Ah, well, that makes sense. Thanks guys!
As for the Liebster Blog award, Google Translate tells me that “liebster” means “dearest” in German. I guess it’s good to know that Reasonably Ludicrous is someone’s dearest blog, though I’m not sure I trust the superlative nature of this translation. After all, how can we be Live Nerd Repeat’s dearest blog if he gave the award out to seven other people? Seven!
And finally the Kreativ Blogger award, which came from Thoughts from a Jaded Heart. You see, the very title of the award is an example of itself, because they’ve spelled the word “creative” creatively. Very clever, award. Very clever indeed.
Some of these awards require you to share things about yourself. As any of my readers could tell you, this prospect frightens me, for I’ve never really put myself out there on the internet. Even so, I’ll try my best.
1. Once, when I was a baby, my parents spilled spaghetti on my head, scalding it. I think the heat burned the concept of spaghetti into my brain, ’cause I’ve loved it ever since. Science!
2. My favorite book series is George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire, and the fact that the HBO show exists make me unthinkably happy.
3. I have four more things to come up with.
4. I almost got an Astronomy minor, but my brain cannot comprehend standard physics (see # 1). I have no idea how blocks slide on frictionless ramps, and springs remain mysterious forces of chaos.
5. My family used to own a pet chicken. It was evil, and its favorite activity was the pecking of humans. That being said, at least it never gave me food poisoning.
6. After some deliberation, I have decided that I dislike food poisoning.
7. I once beat a chess FIDE master, but he was only 15 and I don’t think he was paying much attention. It was during lunch break and he was playing a lot of games at once.
We’re supposed to pass this award on to 15 other blogs, but in the name of being miserly and having already awarded most of our favorite blogs, and in an effort to slow down the rapid spread of this rather positive chain-awarding, we’ll just link back to our last two acceptance posts. Check out the blogs we nominated those times. They’re awesome!
If you like to read Reasonably Ludicrous things, we’ve added an FAQ, which should provide not only sagacious insight, but mild question and answer–based entertainment as well.
I also created a Store page with descriptions so amusing that you may be tricked into buying something. But seriously, I’m not even trying to hawk merchandise at you. I’m just kind of proud of the write-ups.
In messing around with wordpress options, I seem to have accidentally created a Gallery of my favorite artwork of Sam’s. I’m not sure what it accomplishes really, but I like looking at it.
On the right-hand sidebar, I’ve added a new links section with just one thing. It’s a video my friend made, parodying the lyrics of party rock anthem via the glory of MS Paint. I think it’s pretty awesome.
Until next time, this is Reasonably Ludicrous, signing out!
Stay tuned for next week, in which Russ overcomes his disease and writes something with actual content!