Tag Archives: Jokes

Bullet Post 2: Return of the One-Liners

I sort of forgot how writing worked, but Sam has graciously taken it upon himself to retrain me. So far the process is showing promise, but it seems that it may take some time. Meanwhile, this bullet post should go partway to tiding you over, you hungry masses you. Hope you like one-liners!

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I thought about finally following my dream and doing stand-up comedy, but I was afraid people would laugh at me.

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That job in Human Resources takes on a whole new meaning when your employer is Soylent Green.

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I checked into my hotel and ordered some pay-per-view.

The clerk said a balcony was $300, so I just settled for A Room with a View.

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I ordered a magazine from Guns & Ammo, but it didn’t fit into my semi-automatic.

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One time I lost my feather duster, so I just let my parakeet out of its cage.

After all, would it really want to be trapped in a house with no feather duster?

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Visiting the elevator factory was pretty disappointing. I only got one story out of it.

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Proverbs:

A hero is a man who is afraid to run away. Or maybe that’s just a misguided coward.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but what are a thousand words worth anyway? In this economy? Not much. Mostly thanks to all those dimwits who keep blogging for free!

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but maybe not three or four. It’s hard to equate really. I bet it’d be worth a lot more if it were some kind of hunting bird that could kill and retrieve the bush birds.

Actions speak louder than words, and the action that speaks the loudest is yelling.

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